MaryLeeHayden:He is always right. I am the screw up.
Mary - my heart just cries when I read your posts and I can't stay silent. Your husband is not always right, and you are not a screw because he says so! Eleanor Roosevelt said no one can make you feel bad or inferior about yourself unless you let them - anyways something to that effect so please Mary, seek some counseling and talk with others, I'm sorry but your husband sounds like a awful man! I read the posts from others and you sound like someone I would want as a friend - kind, caring, sweet, loving, sharing, and supportive.
I agree with you, you need to leave him and start fresh, where you will be appreciated and that's not something I would normally abdicate. I'm praying for you and that God leads you to the right place and decision. Remember He loves you!
"I'm just a poor soul who's intentions are good. Oh, Lord, Please don't let me be misunderstood."
If I have given anyone the idea that my husband is an awful man, I apologize. He is certainly not the problem. It is me. I thought I was on the way back but I was wrong. There is no light at the end of the tunnel and keeping to myself seems like the best idea. Philip is a very good man who has put up with my craziness for 20 years. I have abandonment issues that stem from very early childhood. I don't expect nor do I trust many people. It is actually quite amazing how patient and dedicated he has been with me.
Please don't ever blame him for my behavior. I am ashamed that I let anyone think anything negative about him. For 20 years I never said a negative thing about him. Not that he doesn't have his faults, but that is not for public discussion and I am so sorry. He really is a great person.
Phil is a nice guy. But you are also a good person. You need to try not beating yourself up all the time. It would do you a world of good to get out of the house and do something, Even if it is no more than taking a walk or going browsing in the quilt shop. The smell and fell of all that beautiful fabric has to help cheer you up some. And sunshine is a great mood enhancer. Keeping to yourself when you are depressed is NEVER "the right idea". It only intensifies the depression.
I TOOK THIS OVER FOR MARY. DUE TO VERY LITTLE RESPONSE, IT HAS BEEN CANCELLED. WE ARE HOPING TO 'RE-INSTATE IT NEXT YEAR. THANK YOU ALL.