SWAP IDEAS

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Phyllis replied on Mon, Apr 7 2014 11:19 AM | Locked

I am probably one ofthe biggest culprits of late swaps.  In January or early February when I signed up for 4 swaps, life was good and I had plenty of time for the swaps.  Had them started when my life fell apart.  My 93 year old father is in advanced stages of alzheimers.  He went into the hospital for a week and I was there every evening with him as he was very frightened and confused.  After the hospital, he went to skilled nursing home for a month in a town 11 miles from home.  Again, I was there 3-4 weeknights as well as on the weekends.  A month turned into 6 weeks and we had to put him in a nursing home which he hates and he is very angry or else he cries all the time.  Again, I have to be there with him.  During all of this, I had to close out his assisted living apartment, renting a storage unit and moving his stuff.

Unfortunately, my swaps suffered mightely.  I got them all in but they were all late.  I will tell you that the swaps are probably one of the biggest thing that has kept my sanity through all of this.  Most everyone has been very supportive which I really appreciate. 

I apologize for the lateness of my swaps but I cannot apologize for giving my father the care that he needed and deserved.

As far as penalties, I think we are all adults and don't need to be penalized like these swaps were some big life events.  I love the swaps, enjoy them very much, but I don't want to get so strict that we have to have all kinds of rules I think they should be fun.  I know that other swaps I have been in have run late because people had issues and I really didn't mind waiting.  While we were waiting, we were all posting messages to encourge the person having the problems.  That's what this site has always been about for me, making friends, supporting each other and having fun together.  Maybe those that want strict rules and regulations can do swaps at the other website that has rules and this site can be kept for fun swaps(when it is up and running that is)

Anyway, I won't be doing swaps anymore until things settle down with my Dad, but I hope to be back at them later and that they are still fun events for everyone.

.

Bonner Springs, Kansas

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Kris replied on Mon, Apr 7 2014 11:51 AM | Locked

I dropped out of swaps a while back due to many of the issues Candis mentioned. I agree with you, Candis, about accountability.

I don't think there is a need for a beginners' swap. Reading the instructions/guidelines of any particular swap should let a person know if he/she is able to participate in said swap.  

I still check out the swaps but I'm not in a position to fully participate these days.

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vynnp replied on Mon, Apr 7 2014 12:06 PM | Locked

Ok, my turn. When I started on this web site, I was a new quilter looking to make friends and get ideas. I have learned to make pillowcases, mug rugs, pick out colors that compliment each other and numerous other helps. I have spent so many hours picking out fabrics for swaps, working on projects to share and have enjoyed all of the time spent. I hate that this has become such a big problem for everyone. There have been many times when I have recieved fabric of lesser quality, or projects that were not perfect. But thats just part of the chances you take. You have to take the good with the bad. I proudly tell non quilters what an amazing group of people quilters are. I have meet so many wonderful people who are always willing to share and help. Please don't stop being those people.

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Judi replied on Mon, Apr 7 2014 12:11 PM | Locked

I agree with Thea's ideas.  look, bad stuff can happen to any of us. it is almost always domething unanticipated!  believe me, i know better than most thst really bad things can happen that thete is no planning for!

i think that stsying in communication really is the most important thing. i know thst if i ever hostedvagain, i would have personal emsils and an rmetgency phone numbernand give minebas well.  even a Hostess can havevan emergency.   i know that having enough time is an issue.  i have bern lucky eith the online dources i have used. i seem to get the fabric quickly.  I guess thst is ehy they get my repeat business!  

i was just in a swap on another site(group). and the petson who swapped with me was vety late and did not include some of tne required items. i personally let the swap hostess know what occurred as this was not a centralized swap.  it wasn't her fault, but dince dhe dors these swaps 2-3 times a year, i thought she should be aware.  i wrote a pleasant email and she and I have decided that tjis should not be public knowledge but judt something to keep in mind if this girl wants to swap again.  I did not blsme the hostess!

Having been blasted publically and privately is awful and yes, I was really upset.  unfortunately, i have had more than my shate of public informstion available about y family and I.  i am quite immune to it, but nasty and uncontrolled vitrole is not appropriste about quilting!

let's all agree on some basic rukes like zthea has suggedtdd.  Theneach hostess can add her guidelines and riles for her swap.  

 

 

 

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Candis replied on Mon, Apr 7 2014 12:39 PM | Locked

PhyllisI am truly sorry for your troubles! Being late with swaps was not my issue,  especially with circumstances like yours, you communicated. It is the communication that is important. Your right everyone will understand.  

     I believe the old saying, you can't please everyone !  Hopefully others here will see these are all suggestions to make swaps better and more fun for all.    I too am hoping the swaps will be pleasurable again someday.    But  also we must remember these swaps are voluntary, hostesses volunteer, moderators volunteer,  this isn't a job for them, no one gets paid, these people are not sanctioned by QCA.  You as a swapper or hostess have choices, to join in or not,  how do you please the masses?  How do you please everyone?  If someone has this answer. Please tell me!   To clarify. My post, was not referring to any one person, it was general statements.    I believe everyone's was.   

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Candis replied on Mon, Apr 7 2014 12:53 PM | Locked

I too agree withJudi, corrections, and things should never be public, always handled by the moderator of the group. Public flogging not allowed .  Quilters like women should watch after one another, and support, criticism should only be constructive , not hateful, and mean or competitive.  I for one hate seeing attacks on thus web site, like I said no Bullying allowed!  Dang it!!  I just wanna have fun!!    Where's Cyndi Lauper music when I need it!        Please everyone don't get offended reading these posts. If it pertains to you take it and grow, if it doesn't. Let  it go, or save for future reference!   It's not meant to drive away folks, it's meant to help to make a better experience,   

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Susie replied on Mon, Apr 7 2014 1:40 PM | Locked

Phyllis--I am so sorry for what you are going through with your dad.  It's more important to take care of family and cherish what time you have, rather than sit at a sewing machine.  We will all be here supporting you and holding you up in prayers, waiting until you are able to come back and play.  Please know that my comments were NOT directed towards you, or any of the other swappers that maintain the high communication. 

My issue has always been with the ones that never respond to any communication, or just flat out ignore the rules and guidelines set up by the swap.  Or those that send in a finished product that is so far from finished that it would need to be frogged completely and redone.

I guess my preference would be that someone bow out rather than send in a shoddy product.  Does that make sense?

For those that have never swapped, please do not be scared away by this discussion.  It's been a long time coming, even though the swaps have been so much better in the past year or so than they were in the past.  Part of the issue is the inability to contact everyone easily with the system issues QCA has.  Candis has a really great swap that is just taking sign-ups.  Take a gander at her requirements and play along!  We really are a great group of swappers!

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Judi replied on Mon, Apr 7 2014 2:00 PM | Locked

Sorry for the scrambled typing. We are having Internet issues!  Among another family issue. Let's get back to having fun. I need that more than most of you will know!

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Sewgirl Diane replied on Mon, Apr 7 2014 2:03 PM | Locked

Here are my couple of pennies worth...

First, since I am a web and graphic designer I think the site and forum layout is not very user friendly.   it could be streamlined and more intuitive such as QATW.  That in itself would make swaps, rules, signups, etc more clear and maybe avoid a few misinterpretations and missed deadlines.

I personally loved all the swaps I have been in- and have been timely on my commitments - there was only one where there was a whole lot of sour grapes going on and I was a few days late due to an unavoidable problem at home.  Hey, we are all human and stuff happens.  My suggestion is that if you think you cant commit, don't! And if something does happen tell your organizer ASAP in a PM and work out something.

I cherish my items I have received in the swaps and have made some great global friends.  I hope it continues, it just needs some fine tuning.

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Candis replied on Mon, Apr 7 2014 2:30 PM | Locked

Susie, my friend. Very well said!    Judi, scrambled typing, I just thought maybe it was margarita time somewhere!  Sew girl, your suggestions are right on.     Now every one. Go sign up for the Patriotic  Block Swap!     Ahhhhing, yes, Choices!!   It is America! 

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Roxana replied on Mon, Apr 7 2014 3:37 PM | Locked

Judi, I loved the scrambled words. It reminded me of my days teaching typing! I could read right through it!

Well said, everyone. Thanks so much for the input. I'll compile it all and create a page based on your suggestions.

Fun is the order of the day, and yes, I am having fun with the patriotic blocks. I'm even using my stash! That's even more fun!

Thanks again. Please keep up the communication. We still have several swappers to hear from.

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Erin replied on Mon, Apr 7 2014 4:21 PM | Locked

OK, I wasn't going to say anything, but I feel I need to. 

First off- It is just as much the responsibility of the hostess to be reachable as it is the swapper to be.  I was in a swap that my friend request was never accepted, my emails, nor my facebook messages were responded to.   Another member gave me the hostesses address and I mailed the blocks out. They were never received nor were they returned to me.  I later found out the address had an error in it, so my blocks are out there, who knows where!?  I had around $60  invested in those 12 blocks with three fabrics (and shipping), thread, baggies, envelopes, postage to and from.  The whole ordeal was very upsetting and I have not joined another swap since. 

Secondly- As a new quilter, living in an area with no shops or classes, no friends that quilt, I've learned everything so far online and trial and error...LOTS of trial and error (lol)  but with advice and constructive criticism from some online friends I've learned and come a long way since May 2012.   At first I didn't know that all fabrics were not created equal, hello, I just recently learned how beautiful and wonderful batiks are!  With that said, someone who is just learning and insecure anyways shouldn't be belittled. They should be instructed (kindly) where they went wrong and encouraged.  To see messages posted about inferior fabric, crappy piecing, unfavorable color choices makes one scared to even join a swap.  We are all at different levels and therefore the blocks received will be too.   New people will never learn if they are not taught- can you imagine the quilts of the future if newbies are never taught or encouraged?

Thirdly- Lateness-it is quite annoying that everyone holds up their end and then have to wait, not a day or two but a week or two for the swap blocks/fabric.  It's rude and selfish to think that your time is more important than anyone else's!!   Yes, life happens and things spin out of our control and changes our plans. It's happened to all of us.  But when it is the same person/people being late with every single swap there is a problem and there does need to be a plan of action.   Maybe joining 3 or 4 swaps at a time is just too much at once?  Be responsible and think about it before joining! 

Lastly, the rude and snide comments and the hateful PM are ridiculous!  As Candis said it is bullying and uncalled for.  Maybe the person that made that block DID do their best job and for someone to ridicule and embarrass them is just mean and hateful.  Maybe YOU are just too advanced for the swaps and YOU should move on and not hinder the people that are trying to learn?    

How hard is it to be nice, be kind, be gracious, be understanding, be forgiving, be tolerable?  If you cannot be those things then maybe a social group isn't for you- JUST SAYING!

Piece, Love, Quilt

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Susan replied on Mon, Apr 7 2014 4:41 PM | Locked

Erin:
How hard is it to be nice, be kind, be gracious, be understanding, be forgiving, be tolerable?  If you cannot be those things then maybe a social group isn't for you- JUST SAYING!
                          Erin, I like all of what you said especially the next to the last paragraph, but this one thats in quotes, really hit the nail on the head . The person, persons, who fit these two paragraphs should not be in a social group!!!!     Hope you get everything ironed out so you all can begin having fun in the swaps again.    Susan

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Debbie replied on Mon, Apr 7 2014 5:44 PM | Locked

Roxana:
Some sort of requirement or penalty should also be placed on those who sign up not knowing how to do all steps to a quality acceptable to our standards.

Roxana - "acceptable to our standards"  I can see where that might be difficult, because whose standards are we judging by?  Hear me out, please!  I started this in Sep 2012 and I have learned lots from these ladies, I have gotten better from looking at other's work and seeing where I needed to improve.  I know some of what I sent in to swaps in the beginning probably wouldn't be considered quality work, but I'm so much better today than I was then.  Yet, I'm no expert quilter and never really want to be, because perfection takes the fun out of doing something for fun!  I quilt because it's fun, challenging and relaxing for me.  Someone judging me isn't fun. 

I agree "participants (should know) how to basically complete a small quilt from start to finish with the piecing, quilting, and binding."  But for those who are newbies, it is hard to learn what is quality if you don't see quality work.  I see both sides and understand what each side is saying, Yes, as a host I want people to be on time or early is even nicer, but I know "life" happens, things come up that pull us where we sometimes don't want to go and cause us to be later when we don't want to be.   

I agree with someone else who said, let's be understanding. 

"I'm just a poor soul who's intentions are good.   Oh, Lord, Please don't let me be misunderstood."

Debbie (dear1953)  

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Debbie replied on Mon, Apr 7 2014 6:06 PM | Locked

Phyllis:

I apologize for the lateness of my swaps but I cannot apologize for giving my father the care that he needed and deserved.

Phyllis - and you shouldn't have to apologize for being a caring daughter.  Life happens to all of us and we don't know what others are going thru so let's be patient, loving, kind, and understanding. 

 

"I'm just a poor soul who's intentions are good.   Oh, Lord, Please don't let me be misunderstood."

Debbie (dear1953)  

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