My Day.......

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Diane replied on Tue, Nov 13 2012 9:51 AM

As for the holidays, I got the word from my daughter that it's not going to happen.  Her constant anger toward me is so strong.  I seem to be the reason for all of her problems.

It is painful but to communicate with her is more painful.  No one ever thinks that they will have a child who has so many mental problems.  You do everything to keep them alive, take their medication, and have therapy and in the end you get blamed for it all.  She is a Taurus and is very stubborn.  Even her friends say that.  Well, I do have a good family were I can go---to my best friends.  I'll make cookies for them.  No present for my daughter this year unless she comes here.  I pray and pray.  It's not working yet.  I have been a nervous wreck for the last 3 days but I'll be OK now.

Today I am going to get a Shingles shot and then go to the bead store to get supplies.  I have an order I have to fill so things are moving along.

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Stephanie replied on Tue, Nov 13 2012 10:56 AM

Diane:

As for the holidays, I got the word from my daughter that it's not going to happen.  Her constant anger toward me is so strong.  I seem to be the reason for all of her problems.

It is painful but to communicate with her is more painful.  No one ever thinks that they will have a child who has so many mental problems.  You do everything to keep them alive, take their medication, and have therapy and in the end you get blamed for it all.  She is a Taurus and is very stubborn.  Even her friends say that.

Diane,

This is so heartbreaking.  When I was younger I went to a therapist because Mike had a young daughter and we had some differences in how she should be treated when she was there. Long story short the therapist told me I should "dump" him and the whole situation and move on. I went there to try to have us be a family, not to split one up. Realizing your daughter is ill of course, it's hard to know in addition to that,  just what kind of advice she's getting, to say the least of the strikes against her being ill, medications, etc. I hope you can focus your attention on your best friends and  keep your daughter in your prayers for change. No one is ever whole without learning to forgive and move forward, and I'll still keep praying that she will one day reach that stage in her life and mind. 

I'll keep you in my prayers, sweet lady.  

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Linny t replied on Tue, Nov 13 2012 11:41 AM

Diane:

This website is driving me nuts!!  Linny, is there anyone you could talk to about it?  

Not really, Diane, but only because of the nature of the problem.  Apparently it's a platform problem.  That's not a simple fix.  At least it's clear they know what the problem is.

There is a lot of discussion in the thread for reporting website problems   Here is an excerpt from that thread from QCA Admin Tiffiny dated 11/8/12

"While we are very aware of the technical difficulties of the QCA website, we want to inform you of the latest developments.

 

We're still exploring the cause of the site performance issues and it's long term solution while making changes to alleviate the current site.  Long term we're considering changes in both the software behind QCA and it's hosting solution; while still reviewing for certainty, the problem appears to be a platform-specific issue. In the short term, we've assigned staff to restart the server nightly (to alleviate any lingering database connections). This will occur at 11 pm MST.

 

Thank you for your considerations & understanding while we improve the site.

 

QCA ADMIN. Tiffiny"

It explains why I've been having trouble around 8:00 PM EST.  Too bad I didn't know this until I started reading the discussions.  It explains a lot.  So, they are working on it, but it's taking time.  I get that.  It seems better today. 

I think when we have problems we all need to post a comment in that thread.  The volume of complaints will probably help to keep it on the front burner.  I know, it goes against my grain to complain, too.  Especially when you see how many already are complaining about it over there.  At least you can read about it and see what's going on.

In case my link doesn't work and you don't know where to find this thread, go to the top of the header to the links tabs going across and find the one that says "Message Boards".  Page down past the popular stuff and you'll see a QCA  section and "Report Website Issues Here" is one of the threads there.  Click on that and you'll see the list of discussions.  Those are the discussions about site problems.  Feel free to leave your comments there any time you have trouble. 

Linny T

 

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Linny t replied on Tue, Nov 13 2012 11:55 AM

Diane:

As for the holidays, I got the word from my daughter that it's not going to happen.  Her constant anger toward me is so strong.  I seem to be the reason for all of her problems.

It is painful but to communicate with her is more painful.  No one ever thinks that they will have a child who has so many mental problems.  You do everything to keep them alive, take their medication, and have therapy and in the end you get blamed for it all.  She is a Taurus and is very stubborn.  Even her friends say that.  Well, I do have a good family were I can go---to my best friends.  I'll make cookies for them.  No present for my daughter this year unless she comes here.  I pray and pray.  It's not working yet.  I have been a nervous wreck for the last 3 days but I'll be OK now.

Today I am going to get a Shingles shot and then go to the bead store to get supplies.  I have an order I have to fill so things are moving along.

Diane, I am so sorry for your heartache, dear.  I think it's easy for our kids to blame us when their life is less than perfect because who else are they going to blame, right?  It takes them so long to figure out that everyone's got something wrong and find their place.  I say you know they're grown up when they stop blaming their parents, lol.  When they have mental and emotional challenges it's the only way they can cope with their frustrations in getting anywhere in life, I think.  I have a Taurus daughter, too, by the way, so I know what you mean by that kind of stubborn.  When they get a thing in their minds they are the only ones who can change it and it's like anything you try to say to them about it is met with fierce resistance - that "I'll never give and inch" kind - and they dig in even deeper.  The only thing you can do is tell her you love her and let her go find out for herself.  Keep on praying is the best thing you can do and like you're doing, live your life.  Don't let her alienate you from your life, otherwise you will find it hard to keep loving her in spite of what she's doing.  Sometimes our prayers are working, it's just taking time for you to be able to see it.  Big hug from my heart to yours!  

Linny T

 

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Linny t replied on Tue, Nov 13 2012 12:04 PM

Stephanie, I don't think my house would get really cleaned if I didn't have company once in awhile, lol. 

For Thanksgiving my sister is coming over to my place.  Her daughter and SIL have to work during the day, so she didn't have plans.  We've ordered a feast from Bob Evans so we won't have to cook.  That will give us more time to craft together.  I told her if we ate at my house I'd clean pretty and set us up to do Utee in the back room.  She accepted with enthusiasm, lol.  When I read your post I laughed because this morning as I was leaving my house I realized that I had moved all the furniture around and cleaned to the corners in my mind while I was l locking up to leave.  Too bad it's not that easy, right?  Wouldn't it be nice if our houses were like Etch-a-sketches?  When we get tired of it we just turn it upside down and then start all over. 

Paul has really made progress, hasn't he?  Tell him that we all want to see pics when he's finally done.  That he's bringing his girlfriend to dinner must mean he's serious.  Hope he's found "the one". 

Linny T

 

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Linny t replied on Tue, Nov 13 2012 12:10 PM

Robin, I agree about the summer vacation.  Kids need something to look forward to and so do the teachers.  I think it helps everyone set goals better.  Besides, what are parents supposed to do with the short spells each quarter when there's no school?  They wanted to do that in my daughter's kids school and it would have been 2 weeks on and 1 week off or something like that.  How are kids supposed to keep anything going together in their minds like that?  So what, would the teachers have to spend 1 or 2 days reviewing everything after the week off.  I don't think kids would do well with it. 

Linny T

 

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Lillie replied on Tue, Nov 13 2012 12:49 PM

How do you stop getting email notifications? I unsubscribed and left the MQ7 thread, but I'm still getting bombarded with emails. Driving me nuts!

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Lillie replied on Tue, Nov 13 2012 12:53 PM

Yes I will be at my sister's for three weeks, including Thanksgiving. It will be a big family event as her kids and grands live within 30 minutes in any direction from my sister. I think my grandniece wants to have Thanksgiving at their house this year. They live in Flint, MI.  It will be fun. I love big family gatherings. All kinds of stuff going on all over the house. Kids running and laughing. Lots of adult conversation. Too bad my DH won't be able to enjoy it. He's in Antarctica.

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Stephanie replied on Tue, Nov 13 2012 2:10 PM

Lillie:
They live in Flint, MI.

Mike has family close by in Howell, Mi. I love big family gatherings too. The kids are too cute. We have lots of young ones in the family now too. Too bad hubby can't be there with you.Is he working in Antarctica?

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Diane replied on Tue, Nov 13 2012 2:30 PM

Lillie---what's your husband doing in antartica?  Watching penquins!   I would love to go!

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Stephanie replied on Tue, Nov 13 2012 2:31 PM

Linny t:
When I read your post I laughed because this morning as I was leaving my house I realized that I had moved all the furniture around and cleaned to the corners in my mind while I was l locking up to leave.  Too bad it's not that easy, right?  Wouldn't it be nice if our houses were like Etch-a-sketches? 

 Etch-a-sketch would be too easy.  LOL. At least we still have the weekend before it to whatever it takes. Not sure how our schedule will work out for additional time for me the day before or after. Do you get to take off Friday after?

Linny t:
Paul has really made progress, hasn't he?  Tell him that we all want to see pics when he's finally done.  That he's bringing his girlfriend to dinner must mean he's serious.  Hope he's found "the one". 
 

He seems to think it's gone slow. Like his mom that way I suppose. He doesn't account for his working two jobs in the mean time. I'd love to share before and after pics when it's done. You won't believe the difference. It's been really nice to have this common interest to share with him. His new girl is a sweetheart. She's driven to work like he is and she is very health conscious. A vegetarian really. The last time they were out over the 4th of July, he kiddingly asked me if I could make something without bacon in it for her. I chided and asked him if he'd prefer I'd leave it out of the twice baked potatoes or the baked beans. He hurriedly replied, "I didn't mean leave it out of any of our food." Just hers. ROFLOL. And I did, and made a big waldorf salad, etc too. She's a lovely person. Maybe she will be the one.... 

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Lillie replied on Tue, Nov 13 2012 4:51 PM

Stephanie:

 Too bad hubby can't be there with you.Is he working in Antarctica?

Yes he is working down there. He generally goes twice a year for 6-8 weeks each time. He loves this job. How many people get to go to Antarctica?

Usually when he goes, I go visit the kids/grands in Japan. But, as we want to go to Italy next year, we decided to be a bit more frugal with our funds. We are on a fixed income, unless DH gets a raise. Then we'll still be on a fixed income, just a bit higher than last year.  lol

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Lillie replied on Tue, Nov 13 2012 4:57 PM

Diane:

Lillie---what's your husband doing in antartica?  Watching penquins!   I would love to go!

He did get to a penguin colony last year. He said it was awe inspiring. But, he could not get right up next to them because humans are not allowed to interfere, touch, or interact with the penguins in any form or fashion. It's an international treaty violation.

Most people say they would love to go. But really, what would you do down there once you've seen the penguins? It's ice, it's freezing, the wind blows almost all the time. Not like 20 mph, closer to 50-80-100 mph.  It's is one of the most inhospitable regions in the world. If your not working, there is virtually nothing to do.

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Diane replied on Tue, Nov 13 2012 5:14 PM

Thank you Linny and Stephanie for you kind, understanding words.  It is so painful because I had hoped that by this time things would have progressed.  I think it's time for me to step back and do nothing until I hear from her, whenever that may be.  That is upsetting because you always like to think that your input could do something but in this case it won't do a thing.  Once I am able to get past those issues, I'll feel better.  I'll continue to pray and get on with my life.  It's hard to believe she can be so unforgiving and cold.  It can't be very happy for her to carry that around.

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Robin replied on Tue, Nov 13 2012 5:16 PM

Lillie,

Sounds like an adventure not to be taken lightly.   I'm curious what does your hubby do for a living that sends him to such an unhospitable place?

 

Linny and Stephanie,

When you get through at your house come on over my house.  I'm usually gone from 7 til 5 so that should give you plenty of time to flip my house over and give it a do over.   I'd love to see what you come up with.

 

Diane,

I can't think of much to say other than you are in my prayers.   I can only imagine that at a time when you have been so rejected faith is the only thing that can truly help.

Everyone I hope you have a quite night.

Robin

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