If I have given anyone the idea that my husband is an awful man, I apologize. He is certainly not the problem. It is me. I thought I was on the way back but I was wrong. There is no light at the end of the tunnel and keeping to myself seems like the best idea. Philip is a very good man who has put up with my craziness for 20 years. I have abandonment issues that stem from very early childhood. I don't trust many people. It is actually quite amazing how patient and dedicated he has been with me.
Please don't ever blame him for my behavior. I am ashamed that I let anyone think anything negative about him. For 20 years I never said a negative thing about him. Not that he doesn't have his faults, but that is not for public discussion and I am so sorry. He really is a great person.
Mary, I, for one, have never thought your problem had anything much to do with your husband. Especially after you had mentioned in an earlier post that there were problems in your early childhood. I can understand where you are coming from a great deal. In the past I have dealt with some family members who had similar problems as yours. We all have certain ways we deal with problems, but we all deal with them in our own way.
I am sorry that your past was so unstable and that it still has an effect on you. Please know that you are in my prayers that you will be able to deal with your life in a positive way. Ginny
I never got that impression from you that your husband is not a great person. He loves you very much and seems to want the very best for you. He seems to encourage you to be out with others to have fun and to be involved, this shows how much he loves and respects you.
Sometimes things from our past come back up for a reason , maybe it's the time to understand it better in a more mature adult self. I know that has happened to me in the past few years and quite honesty, it is a bit scary to re look at the past, but it has helped me look at where I am now and what I can do about it now. It does not mean it's still not there, only I have begun to understand it better. Sounds like you are on that same path.
Give your hubby a hug for me, sounds like he is a great man : ) and married a great woman !