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I'm struggling today . . . Cried myself to sleep last night.

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Bev replied on Sun, Jan 13 2013 3:26 PM

Kristen and Joyce,

I feel for both of your parents not wanting to leave their home. If you think about it, losing your independence and making your own decisions is the hardest thing about getting old. If there is a way that they could have someone come live with them that would be an option to consider unless it is totally impossible.  I dread the day that my Children tell me what to do and when to do it.  I remember with my Parents I always tried to make what I wanted them to do seem like it was there idea, kind of like I do with my Husband. :-). 

Whatever your decision is be at peace with it.

 

  from TN

 

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Angele replied on Sun, Jan 13 2013 3:30 PM

Kristen,thanks for sharing the update. You are beautiful. I'm happy that you got the chance to spend time with your tie. Like many have said before, keep the good memories, and let go of the rest. I hope you do get to rekindle some of your old friendship. 

Angèle  from NWO

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Angele replied on Sun, Jan 13 2013 3:42 PM

Joyce I feel for you., my parents are still in their home.  I am so fortunate to have brothers and sisters who take care of them.  Soon they won't be able to stay there alone. At97 and almost 90, health issues are creeping in.  When that time will come my brother has already said he would move in. Because I live halfway across the country, I go every summer to care for them for a few weeks.  For now I can't do more as I'm still working.  My prayer is that they both can die in their home when the time will come.  It has been their wish. I can never repay my siblings for all they do for our parents, but I sure do appreciate every bit of it.

Angèle  from NWO

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Nana replied on Sun, Jan 13 2013 4:18 PM

Joyce

You are having to make one of the hardest decisions that any of us have to make.  God be with you both.

Vinton, Virginia

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Ninette replied on Sun, Jan 13 2013 6:15 PM

Que bueno que estuvo bien con su familia, olvide los inconvenientes y disfrute de recuerdos gratos.  Ninette

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Susan replied on Sun, Jan 13 2013 6:16 PM

Joyce, My prayers go out to you and your Mom. I will pray you find the "perfect" home for her. We had to put my 87 year old DMIL in the nursing home as she at dementia and would walk around the house naked,etc. etc. but at times she would seem almost normal. She did not want to go and did not understand why I could not care of her. We tried for months,  but at the time our kids were teenagers and had to witness her strange behavior, so with the help of our Pastors and referrals from others we found a wonderful Christian home. The Director went to our church, so we were able to know that she was in good hands as this women who was also an RN with aging parents would be looking out for her .  We could take her out when and if she wanted and were able to bring her quilts, bed table , lamp and pictures, etc. It took less than a month for her to adjust to her new Home and her confusion and dementia seemed to get a little better. She liked structure and routine so it was good for her. Only problem was those Diapers, she hated them! It was the hardest decision my DH had to make and it broke his heart  at the time, as she had always said she never wanted to go to a home. However, it was the best thing we could have done for her and Im so grateful for those Nurses and CPAs, they were so caring, and dedicated to the elderly patients in their care. It was truly a blessing for my DMIL. My DSIL in California was all bent out of shape because we did not ask her opinion, or give her the option of caring for her. When we told her about her strange  behavior, I got the feeling she thought we were making up stories. So she flew out here to "visit " her only to find that my DMIL was not sure who she was and did not know her GD at all. They stayed in a hotel, not with us which was highly unusual, as her and my DH  were very close at one time  and had visited us  before this and stayed with us. Why she let it put a wedge between them Ill never know, she has called a couple of times in the last 7 years but only to relay a message. I feel bad for my DH because he thought he was doing the right thing for everyone. I think it was more over my DMILs assets, than about the nursing home but she would never admit that. Money sure can break up families, if you let it! Well, I hope you find a Good home for her and everything works out well for you.   Prayers,   Susan

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Ninette replied on Sun, Jan 13 2013 6:18 PM

Que lo siento, pero en estos lugares ella va tener personas que la cuiden y otras para conversar, espero que Dios la ilumine para que este sea adecuado.   Ninette

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Bev :
I remember with my Parents I always tried to make what I wanted them to do seem like it was there idea

That is how I handled it also. I was very careful to never treat them like children and always remembered they were my parents and needed me to be there for them but not to tell them what to do. I would make suggestions and almost always they were perfectly willing to go along with our suggestions. It is a very difficult time in life and a very thin line we have to walk. 

Bev :
Whatever your decision is be at peace with it.

I agree! 

Life is like a quilt...bits & pieces, joy & sorrow, stitched with love

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