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Joke/Inspiration of the Day #2

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Kris replied on Tue, Sep 18 2012 12:10 AM | Locked

Marie, Angele, Marge and Thea:

Thanks for the laughs. I liked them all. 

Clare:
One of life lessons I just learnt, do not & I repeat do not read this thread only one week after abdominal surgery!

Clare, we'll get you healed up in no time. Laughter is the best medicine. 

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Nana replied on Tue, Sep 18 2012 6:28 AM | Locked

Thea

Cute....wish it worked that way.

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Barbara replied on Tue, Sep 18 2012 7:50 AM | Locked

Marge I loved the biker one, really funny

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Barbara replied on Tue, Sep 18 2012 7:53 AM | Locked

Clare , Laughter is good , helps us heal , just use a pillow on your tummy when you read this ,,LOL  be careful ,we want you healthy again..

Liberty,Missouri

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Marge (AKA Dimples) replied on Tue, Sep 18 2012 8:25 AM | Locked

I had to open this up by copying the link into a new window / tab.  I think us more "mature" quilters will get a kick out of it. 

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid67524056001?bckey=AQ~~%2cAAAAAjHM3KE~%2cue6IyhgccnQfCR9niUq7SpiGuvtClfZX&bclid=0&bctid=1799012627001

Marge (AKA Dimples)

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Marge (AKA Dimples) replied on Tue, Sep 18 2012 8:28 AM | Locked

Clare - we are really sorry we made you laugh -- NOT!  We wouldn't be coming up with these things if we didn't want to bring a smile to your face.  Heal quick and in the meantime, use Barbara's advice.  :o) 

Marge (AKA Dimples)

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Ramona replied on Tue, Sep 18 2012 8:46 AM | Locked

Oh, Nancy!!!

I guess the only thing I can say now is.....Did he use it? LOL

 

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Ramona replied on Tue, Sep 18 2012 8:47 AM | Locked

Marge and Thea......great ones....LOL

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gini replied on Tue, Sep 18 2012 9:37 AM | Locked

good one marge,  that about sums me up

gini in north idaho

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Marie replied on Tue, Sep 18 2012 10:38 AM | Locked

Clare, I always use the bathroom before reading this thread, better safe than sorry.  : )

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Marie replied on Tue, Sep 18 2012 10:40 AM | Locked

Marge (AKA Dimples):

I had to open this up by copying the link into a new window / tab.  I think us more "mature" quilters will get a kick out of it. 

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid67524056001?bckey=AQ~~%2cAAAAAjHM3KE~%2cue6IyhgccnQfCR9niUq7SpiGuvtClfZX&bclid=0&bctid=1799012627001

Marge, too funny but so true, loved it.

 

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Marie replied on Tue, Sep 18 2012 1:04 PM | Locked

 This is very interesting!
 
If you want to know what a rich man is like, ask his servants…..
If you want to know what a President is like, check with the Secret Service (after their retirement)
Very Interesting stuff!!!
From the Secret Service/Very interesting snippets from Ronald Kessler's book about US Presidents
Here are snippets from a book of "Impressions & Observations" of Secret Service personnel assigned to guard U.S. Presidents/First Ladies, and Vice Presidents.
JOHN & JACQUELINE KENNEDY
*A philanderer of the highest order. *
*She ordered the kitchen help to save all the left-over wine during State dinner, mixed with fresh wine and served again during the next White House occasion.*
LYNDON & LADYBIRD JOHNSON  
*Another philanderer of the highest order. In addition, LBJ was as crude as the day is long. Both  JFK  and  LBJ kept a lot of women in the White House for extramarital affairs, and both had set up "early warning systems" to alert them if/when their wives were nearby. Both Kennedy & Johnson were promiscuous and oversexed men. *
*She was either naive or just pretended to "not know" about her husband's many liaisons. *
RICHARD & PAT NIXON  
*A "moral" man but very odd, weird, paranoid, etc. He had horrible relationship with his family, and in a way, was almost a recluse.*
*She was quiet most of the time.*
SPIRO AGNEW
* Nice, decent man, everyone in the Secret Service was surprised about his downfall. *
GERALD & BETTY FORD  
*A true gentlemen who treated the Secret Service with respect and dignity. He had a great sense of humor. *
*She drank a lot!*
JIMMY & ROSALYN CARTER  
*A complete phony who would portray one picture of himself to public and very different in private, e..g., would be shown carrying his own luggage, but the suit cases were always empty; he kept empty ones just for photo op's. Wanted the people to see him as pious and a non-drinker, but he and his family drank alcohol a lot. He had disdain for the Secret Service, and was very irresponsible with the "football" nuclear codes. He didn't think it was a big deal and would keep military aides at a great distance. Often did not acknowledge the presence of Secret Service personnel assigned to serve him.*
*She mostly did her own thing.*
RONALD & NANCY REAGAN
*The real deal --- moral, honest, respectful, and dignified. They treated Secret Service and everyone else with respect and honor. Thanked everyone all the time. He took the time to know everyone on a personal level. * One "favorite" story which has circulated among the Secret Service personnel was an incident early in his Presidency, when he came out of his room with a pistol tucked on his hip. The agent in charge asked: "Why the pistol, Mr. President" He replied, "In case you boys can't get the job done, I can help." It was common for him to carry a pistol. When he met with Gorbachev, he had a pistol in his briefcase. Upon learning that Gary Hart was caught with Donna Rice, Reagan said, "Boys will be boys, but boys will not be Presidents." [He obviously either did not know or forgot JFK's and LBJ's sexcapades!]*
*She was very nice but very protective of the President; and the Secret Service was often caught in the middle. She tried hard to control what the President ate, and he would say to the agent "Come on, you gotta help me out." The Reagans drank wine during State dinners and special occasions only; otherwise, they shunned alcohol; the Secret Service could count on one hand the times they were served wine during their "family dinner". For all the fake bluster of the Carters, the Reagans were the ones who lived life as genuinely moral people.*
GEORGE H. & BARBARA BUSH  
*Extremely kind and considerate Always respectful. Took great care in making sure the agents' comforts were taken care of. They even brought them meals, etc. One time Barbara Bush brought warm clothes to agents standing outside at Kennebunkport; one agent was given a warm hat, and when he tried to nicely say "no thanks" even though he was obviously freezing, President Bush said "Son, don't argue with the First Lady, put the hat on." He was the most prompt of the Presidents. He ran the White House like a well-oiled machine.*
*She ruled the house and spoke her mind.*
*BILL & HILLARY CLINTON
*Presidency was one giant party. Not trustworthy --- he was nice because he wanted everyone to like him, but to him life is just one big game and party. Everyone knows of his sexuality.*
*She is another phony. Her personality would change the instant cameras were near. She hated with open disdain the military and Secret Service. She was another one who felt people are there to serve her. She was always trying to keep tabs on Bill Clinton.*
*ALBERT GORE
* An egotistical ass, who was once overheard by his Secret Service detail lecturing his only son that he needed to do better in school or he "would end up like these guys" --- pointing to the agents.*
*GEORGE W. & LAURA BUSH
*The Secret Service loved him and Laura Bush. He was also the most physically "in shape" who had a very strict workout regimen. The Bushes made sure their entire administrative and household staff understood to respect and be considerate of the Secret Service.
*She was one of the nicest First Ladies, if not the nicest; she never had any harsh word to say about anyone.*
KARL ROVE  was the one who was the most caring of the Secret Service in the administration.*
*BARACK & MICHELLE OBAMA
*" Clinton all over again" - hates the military and looks down on the Secret Service. He is egotistical and cunning; looks you in the eye and appears to agree with you, but turns around and does the opposite---untrustworthy. He has temper tantrums.*
*She is a complete ***,  who hates anybody who is not black; hates the military; and looks at the Secret Service as servants.*
A taxpayer voting for Obama is like a chicken voting for Col. Sanders.
 
 
 

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Ginny replied on Tue, Sep 18 2012 1:17 PM | Locked

Gee, Marie,  those observations go along with a lot of the observations I had formed of these people, except for a couple that are suprises.  Ginny

 

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Barbara replied on Tue, Sep 18 2012 3:02 PM | Locked

WOW Marie some of this I was aware of some I wasn't ,the Carters were a surprise.  I haven't formed an opinion of the Obamas ,yet it's still to early.  I didn't know the Johnson was a womanizer  tha t kinda surprised me. .he sure wasn't anything to look at.LOL  

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Kris replied on Tue, Sep 18 2012 9:39 PM | Locked

Marge (AKA Dimples):
I had to open this up by copying the link into a new window / tab.  I think us more "mature" quilters will get a kick out of it. 

Marge,

I may not be "mature" but I can relate. When I got off work last night I forgot where I parked my car when I got here. Had to walk around to find it.

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