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What Are You Up to Today? #6

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nantenn replied on Fri, Oct 26 2012 5:25 PM | Locked

Sukochi,

after my bladder removal surgery I said the " never ever,never have this surgery" basically for a year. Now 18 yrs later i can not imagine living with that pain ll those yrs but having a urostomy bag,...sucks to this day.

you knew you would lose weight, just try to get decent nutrition every day. You will be okay to wait for exercise for a week or so, just walk in the house to help get the gas out.

 It has only been  3 days. You will need a lot more time than that.

Prayers for you.

Nan

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Ginny replied on Fri, Oct 26 2012 5:28 PM | Locked

Sukochi, this too will pass.  There will be a time in the not too distant future when you say, "I feel pretty good."  I am so glad I don't have to keep living with that.      Ginny

 

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Ginny replied on Fri, Oct 26 2012 5:32 PM | Locked

Your points are beautiful, Spud.   Ginny

 

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nantenn replied on Fri, Oct 26 2012 5:32 PM | Locked

Thea,

do you have any prognosis for the life expectancy of your mom?

 With my parents I was able to base my decision on the fact that it was estimated to be a shorter time.  If it is longer than 6mos you need to put your well being first. You also should speak with a financial person, re: costs, Medicaid etc.There are many rules and most are based on time. It may give you either a positive or negative approach on her needs.  And aren't you moving to MN?

i found by writing the pros and cons on. Paper I was able to. Be objective.

pleaseforgive me for being so blunt.

Nan

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Marie replied on Fri, Oct 26 2012 5:47 PM | Locked

Max, beautiful fabrics!

Millbury, MA

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Marie replied on Fri, Oct 26 2012 5:56 PM | Locked

Thea, I will pray that the right decision for all will come to you real soon.  God Bless.  (((((HUGS)))))

Just one further thought..........Would day care be possible in your area.  I had a cousin who took care of her mom who had Alzheimer's until she passed but she took her to day care every day to give herself a break from the 24/7 care.

Millbury, MA

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Marie replied on Fri, Oct 26 2012 5:58 PM | Locked

Spudgrandma:

Woo Hoo...I have always had trouble with HSTs - so, I decided yesterday that I was going to make my table runner with HSTs. I just put the first square together and I HAVE POINTS... finally!!!

 

 

 

Spud, perfect points, way to go!  What a cheerful table runner you will have, great job!

 

Millbury, MA

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Thea replied on Fri, Oct 26 2012 5:58 PM | Locked

nantenn:

Thea,

do you have any prognosis for the life expectancy of your mom?

 With my parents I was able to base my decision on the fact that it was estimated to be a shorter time.  If it is longer than 6mos you need to put your well being first. You also should speak with a financial person, re: costs, Medicaid etc.There are many rules and most are based on time. It may give you either a positive or negative approach on her needs.  And aren't you moving to MN?

i found by writing the pros and cons on. Paper I was able to. Be objective.

pleaseforgive me for being so blunt.

Nan

Nan, Mom is in good health as far as we can tell - by life expectancy - no one has said that she is terminal in any way.   We are unsure what exactly the problem is - sometimes it seems as if she is just playing games with us - then other times it appears that there is something radically wrong.  I keep thinking it will get better - I am very unsure as to what the end outcome will be.

Yes, we are moving to MN but not for 2 years and as she is 87 now that gives me 2 years to find out which way she is going to be ... 

There is no problem being blunt - this is just such a tough decision for me to make - I want her to be healthy and happy - that is my ultimate goal and I know if they put her in a nursing home without her dog - I might as well be signing her death warrant as she will just wither and die... but then I could be wrong too and she might thrive in a nursing home.  I just don't know... She does not want in any way to go into one - is very upset when it is mentioned in any way.  

So for now... I need lots of prayers to help me know what is the right decision to make... right for everyone involved.

 

 

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Spudgrandma replied on Fri, Oct 26 2012 6:23 PM | Locked

Thank you Marie. They are still a lot of work. A simple 9 patch is sounding pretty good right now :)

Life is like a quilt...bits & pieces, joy & sorrow, stitched with love

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Thea replied on Fri, Oct 26 2012 6:31 PM | Locked

Marie:

Thea, I will pray that the right decision for all will come to you real soon.  God Bless.  (((((HUGS)))))

Just one further thought..........Would day care be possible in your area.  I had a cousin who took care of her mom who had Alzheimer's until she passed but she took her to day care every day to give herself a break from the 24/7 care.

Marie, That is something I am going to look into - hadn't thought of that - but I wouldn't use it every day just when I want to go out of town to my guild meeting - great thought - will give me a chance to get out of the house... right now I have to sneak out so that she doesn't know I am gone.  I thank you so much for the prayers.  I do good most of the time but somedays it just overwhelms me and with the doctor's orders for no stress because of my heart it is hard to say I am following his rules... but I have this guilt complex that says I have to be a good daughter - have to do the right thing - sometimes I wish that I wasn't like this but it doesn't work that well.  The Lord doesn't give us more then we can handle from what I am told - I keep thinking I have reached my maximum and something more happens...but I know with prayers that everything will be okay and I will be shown that rainbow... 

 

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Ginny replied on Fri, Oct 26 2012 6:36 PM | Locked

Thea, is there a senior center near you.?  In our area it is connected with the school system.  In some places it is astate or locally funded center.  The one by me has a daycare program that people in your siuation can put their loved one into each day.  They get stimulation there from others, and from the programs that are held there especially for their abilities.  Sing a longs, talking about the old days, having a story read to them, special interest groups that come in to entertain their group.  There is also a representative from the local area agency for aging that is available to help decide what is available and the best situation for each family.   I strongly urge you to seek some help such as this.    Ginny

 

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Ginny replied on Fri, Oct 26 2012 6:47 PM | Locked

Thea:
The Lord doesn't give us more then we can handle from what I am told

Don't use that as an excuse to do nothing.  It does nothing for her or for you and Jay.  The daycare hours are something like 8:30 or 9 until 3pm.  At our senior center, they even has a bus that will pick them up and take them and bring them home if needed.  You don't give her the benefit if you only take her there occasionally.  They get use to that routine and most go three to five days a week, and they enjoy it.  My prayers are with you as you figure this out.    Ginny

 

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Thea replied on Fri, Oct 26 2012 6:50 PM | Locked

Ginny, after her stroke the rehabilitation speech therapist talked to her about this but she had absolutely no interest - the problem with taking Mom to any place like that is she doesn't understand people - she is super intelligent - what they label as a super genius.. her IQ is way up there... if they had one of those Mensa I think it is called places she would get along great - but she has a huge vocabulary and as the doctor said today is quick in thinking and can change directions and get you twisted around faster then if you turned wrong once in a maze.  

But when Sharon talked to her about going to the senior centers here she said not just NO but a H*** no ... had no interest.  I think if she would go she might find that she enjoyed it - but I can't force her to go - that would just exacerbate the problem.  

I do think if I could find out if they have a senior day care that that might work - she needs to be some place where she is watched - where she can't hurt herself and it would give me some time where I could relax knowing that I didn't have to worry about what she was doing and if she was safe.

I keep hoping that we can get through to her and that she will believe us but so far that hasn't happened so it is like fighting a losing battle - Right now she is scared that I will force her and that is not the case at all - if we can get her to trust us and know I love her - but for now  it is just a very stressful situation.  

I do know now though that the doctors and the authorities are aware of the situation and know that she sounds like she knows what she is talking about but that it is all fabricated.  It was very fortunate that I had been gone for 2 days when she initially started all this or I would probably  be waiting for my day in court to prove that I hadn't done anything.  

I have contacted APS - that is Adult Protective Services - and although you may think that was for her - it was actually for me(my Bishop advised me to call them and get help for me) - to Protect me from the Senior living in my home.  They are though helping me to be able to help her.  They understand that my end game is for my Mom to be healthy and happy and we are striving for that goal.  

 

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nantenn replied on Fri, Oct 26 2012 6:51 PM | Locked

Statisically most nursing home patients die within the first year. The suggestion of day care is very good but could be expensive. Do you have any network of friends like thru church? You could see if anyone would come like two hrs, I am thinking like in morning for getting her breakfast and giving you time for your pain meds kick in.

sendng lots of prayers for you and your family.

Nan

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chocake2 replied on Fri, Oct 26 2012 6:51 PM | Locked

Oh, Thea, you poor dear. I don't envy you the descision ahead of you. I've been there, done that, and It's not easy. I was saved from making the choice by the deteriating health of both my parents so the burden of second guessing myself was not an issue . ... as such I can not offer you any counsil on what you should or should not do. But I will send up prayers that you are able to resolve the situation with the best possible result for everyone. ((Hugs))

Quilters are people who strip so they won't go topless.

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