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Carol replied on Tue, Feb 15 2011 10:51 PM | Locked


Subject:  Blind Quilter...

---

 

This is an amazing woman, watch it.  We should all be thankful for what we have.
  

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=7lfaSmDxVZQ  Maybe this time it will work, the other one didn't, and I don't see a difference.

 

 

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Diane Morgan replied on Wed, Feb 16 2011 9:59 AM | Locked

Carol~

Isn't she amazing????????? We have a very close friend who went totally blind at age 3 and my husband has been his eyes growing up, including going to Boston Berkley School of Music together. My husband would sit in the class to take notes. Today he is 55 and he can do things that we can't begin to do. He's from another world as far as music is concerned. Him and his wife travel all over the world still playing in a band. I also have done a lot of volunteer work over the years with blind people. One of the places I volunteered was the Perkins School for the Blind in Boston. We would spend the day with our partners and they taught us more than we could ever teach them. They would get on a subway in Boston go anywhere they wanted to.....I wouldn't even dare to do that with vision.They had a roller skating rink at the school and they could skate! I never did manage to beat them at checkers.  Blind people do not consider it a handicap at all. I would be devastated.

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Marie replied on Wed, Feb 16 2011 2:54 PM | Locked

Carol, that hit home in many ways!  Thank you for posting this.  Might get me off my pitty pot when I'm sitting there.  God sure has blessed her.  And she is blessing others.  This is the type of inspiration we need to look at every day, makes one feel blessed.

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Marge (AKA Dimples) replied on Wed, Feb 16 2011 3:46 PM | Locked

T H E  I T A L I A N  E L B O W

An Italian grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who 
is coming to visit with his wife

.

"You comma to de front door of the apartmenta. I am inna apartmenta 301.

"There issa bigga panel at the front door. With you elbow , pusha button 
301. I will buzza you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in,

and with you elbow , pusha 3.

"When you get out, I'mma on the left.

"With you elbow , hit my doorbell."

"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons 
with my elbow?" says her grandson.

"What . . . .. .. You coming empty handed?"

Marge (AKA Dimples)

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Nana replied on Wed, Feb 16 2011 3:47 PM | Locked

Marge

Funny.   You comin' empty handed....LOL

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Marge (AKA Dimples) replied on Wed, Feb 16 2011 3:54 PM | Locked

Carol - that quilter is a wonderful inspiration to us all!!!!

Marge (AKA Dimples)

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Marge (AKA Dimples) replied on Wed, Feb 16 2011 4:00 PM | Locked

Why Go to Church?

One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going." 
"Why not?" she asked.  
I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "(1), they don't like me, and (2), I don't like them."  
His mother replied, "I'll give you two good reasons why you SHOULD go to church: 
(1) You're 49 years old, and (2) you're the pastor!
"

                        
  
The Picnic

A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic.  Old friends, they began their usual banter. 
"This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?" 
The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, "At your wedding."


 
The Usher

An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps.  
"Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely. 
"The front row, please," she answered. 
"You really don't want to do that," the usher said. "The pastor is really boring." 
"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired. 
"No," he said. 
"I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly. 
"Do you know who I am?" he asked. 
"No," she said. 
"Good," he answered
.



Show and Tell 
A kindergarten teacher gave her class a "show and tell" assignment.  Each student was instructed to bring in an object that represented their religion to share with the class. 
The first student got up in front of the class and said, "My name is Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is a Star of David." 
The second student got up in front of the class and said, "My name is Mary. I'm a Catholic and this is a Rosary." 
The third student got in up front of the class and said, "My name is Tommy. I am Methodist, and this is a casserole.
"


 

The Best Way to Pray

A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby 
"Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray," the priest said. 
"No," said the minister. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven." 
"You're both wrong," the guru said. "The most effective prayer position is lying down on the floor." 
The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas," he interrupted. "The best prayin' I ever did was when I was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole.
"



The Twenty and the One 
A well-worn one-dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty-dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired. 
As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a conversation.  
The twenty-dollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the country. 
"I've had a pretty good life," the twenty proclaimed.. "Why I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the finest restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway, and even a cruise to the Caribbean  ..." 
"Wow!" said the one-dollar bill. "You've really had an exciting life!" 
"So, tell me," says the twenty, "where have you been throughout your lifetime?" 
The one dollar bill replies, "Oh, I've been to the Methodist Church, the Baptist Church, the Lutheran Church  ..." 
The twenty-dollar bill interrupts, "What's a church?
"

 


Goat for Dinner The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner.  While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. 
"Goat," the little boy replied. 
"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?" 
"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mom, 'Today is just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner.'
"


  
Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

Marge (AKA Dimples)

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Marie replied on Wed, Feb 16 2011 4:01 PM | Locked

Good one Marge!  LOL

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Marie replied on Wed, Feb 16 2011 4:05 PM | Locked

Marge loved the GOAT FOR DINNER!

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Marge (AKA Dimples) replied on Wed, Feb 16 2011 4:08 PM | Locked

They should get together with the "mushroom" people.  :o) 

Marge (AKA Dimples)

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Diane Morgan replied on Wed, Feb 16 2011 5:22 PM | Locked

Good ones, Marge!!!!!!

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Nana replied on Wed, Feb 16 2011 7:05 PM | Locked

Marge

These are great.  Thanks for sharing.

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Diane Morgan replied on Thu, Feb 17 2011 9:46 AM | Locked


 

  THE  NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES  

Six married men 
will be dropped on an island

with one car

and 3 kids each

for six weeks. 

Each kid will play two sports 
and take either music or dance classes. 

There is no fast food.

Each man must

take care of his 3 kids; 
keep his assigned house clean, 
correct all homework
, 
complete science projects, 
cook, 
do laundry, 
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills 
with not enough money. 

In addition,

each man 
will have to budget enough money 
for groceries each week.
 

Each man 
must remember the birthdays
 
of all their friends and relatives, 
and send cards out on time--no emailing.
 

Each man must also take each child 
to a 
doctor's appointment, 
a
 dentist appointment 
and a
 haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and 
inconvenient
 visit per child to the Emergency Room.

He must also make 
cookies or cupcakes 
for a school function.

Each man will be responsible for 
decorating his own assigned house, 
planting flowers outside, and keeping it 
presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television

when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. 

The men must shave their
 legs, 

wear makeup daily
, 

adorn themselves
 with jewelry, 

wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes
, 

keep fingernails polished, 


and 
eyebrows groomed 

During one of the six weeks, 

the 
men will have to endure severe 
abdominal cramps, backaches, headaches,
have extreme, unexplained mood swings
 
but never once complain or slow down 
from other duties.
 

They must attend weekly school meetings

and church, 
and find time at least once to spend 
the afternoon at the park or a similar 
setting.


They will need to read a book to the kids each
 night

and in the morning,

feed them,

dress them, 
brush their teeth
 and 
comb their hair
 
by 7:30 am.



A test will be given

at the end of the six weeks,

and each father will be required to know

all of the following information: 
each child's 
birthday, 
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size, 
doctor's name, 
the child's weight at birth, 
length, time of birth, 
and length of labor, 
each child's favorite color, 
middle name, 
favorite snack, 
favorite song, 
favorite drink, 
favorite toy, 
biggest fear, 
and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. 

The last man wins only if...
he still 
has enough energy 
to be intimate with his spouse 
at a moment's notice.



If the last man does win, 
he can play the game over and over and over 
again for the next 18-25 years, 
eventually earning the right 
to be called Mother! 


After you get done laughing,
send this to as many females as 
you think will get a kick out of it and 
as many men as you think can handle it. 
Just don't send it back to me....


I'm going to bed.

North of Boston MA

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chocake2 replied on Thu, Feb 17 2011 9:54 AM | Locked

LOL. Forget to nailpolish and make-up. I gave that up in favor of quilting!

Quilters are people who strip so they won't go topless.

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Nana replied on Thu, Feb 17 2011 10:01 AM | Locked

Diane

Too funny.  I don't think I have met a man that would be able to fill that bill......LOL

Vinton, Virginia

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