While this is a highly personal choice, I personally would let go of this and move on. Asking around might or might not get you the answer you seek, but it will most certainly keep this issue alive and bothering you. It will also keep this man in your life (he will be in your head) because he is tied to this quilt.
Letting go sometimes is one of the hardest lessons we women need to learn in life. We tend to tenaciously hold onto every little thing (believe me, I know!) and we also tend to want every answer. But sometimes we benefit most by letting go and moving on.
Once we gift a quilt, it is no longer ours. The recipient can do whatever they wish with it. I realize that can be very difficult for us quilters to accept, but true none the less. I truly hope you find the peace you are seeking here in whatever way you can achieve that.
I made a quilt for a family member then there was a big fight that after four years has not worked itself out. I still have a quilt and all the memories of what should have been, what could have been. It hurts. The same kind of hurt you are feeling thinking about what happened to the quilt you put so much love into. We have to let it go and stop thinking about what should have been, what could have been. He was not the right man for you. I remember your story. You are worth more and he should not be able to steal anymore of you.
Lets just say after reading what you wrote I have decided to donate my quilt and stop thinking of the what should of, could been times.
I hope this helped a little bit.
Quilt, have fun, spend less time worrying if it is perfect.
You gave it to him. It is none of your business what he did with it. Just like his life is none of ypur business. You are about to the point of stalking. Put your big girl panties on and LET IT GO. You are just making a fool of yourself.
Suzette:Once we gift a quilt, it is no longer ours. The recipient can do whatever they wish with it.
Suzette--Right on. If I really enjoy a quilt I will "visit" with it for a while before I move it along on it's journey. I also find it interesting that a quilt that is my all time favorite usually has that status but for a short while though an occasional quilt is a true keeper. It often lasts until I finish the next quilt. I have a quilt here now that I love but it also makes me sad. I bought the fabrics intending to make my dear hubby a birthday quilt. I didn't even start it before he was no longer suffering on this earth. I am thinking though it is not bright some charity might like it.
Zotec--With all your obsession over this quilt are you perhaps not admitting to yourself that you were hurt far more deeply than you want to let on? Find someway to get over this fellow. If you're over the fellow the quilt will not be important to you. A wound can not heal if you keep poking at it.
Do not donate that quilt until you are sure. When my son died in Iraq I wanted to get rid of everything and now I regret it. There is no rush. Hugs my dear.
I meant Agnes
Brenda--I understand what you are saying about not giving this away post haste. I have a few more quilts that are far more meaningful that were a part of our life together. One is the memory throw from his shirts with the addition of my son's name who left this earth five months after his dad. Another is the quilt with the fabric that he insisted on purchasing when I stopped dead in my tracks when I spotted it.