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MaryLeeHayden Posted: Sun, Dec 29 2013 12:10 PM

 

 

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edreger replied on Sun, Dec 29 2013 12:23 PM

May your journey be blessed.

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Sherry replied on Sun, Dec 29 2013 12:34 PM

This seems very worrisome! Does Diana know what is going on?

 

       Sherry

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zoetc49 replied on Sun, Dec 29 2013 12:36 PM

Hi Mary, 

I hate to see you leave from here. I hope when you get your quilt that you will post back with pictures. I just got rid of my kitchen table where I cut my fabric, so I am behind in sending your block to Diana, but have plans to do this today ( using my kitchen counter that has been cleaned off)....it's going to be a very pretty quilt.  I think we all need time to ourselves from time to time. I hope that your just taking a much needed break and will be back on here later. I like taking road trips alone, just short ones. It always makes me want to come back home, but mostly it allows me to think alone.  

Oops, I just re-read your note. So you don't have a car nor a phone. So what are your plans? Are you planning to walk some place that you love. I can't be with out my phone, I would fear not getting help if I needed it. 

Mary if your not thinking of harming yourself, what is the reason for needing to get away? Are the pressures of being a care taker getting to you? Are you in physical pain? Do you just feel alone and trying to find the peace within again? I am just asking. 

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Ginny replied on Sun, Dec 29 2013 1:06 PM

May your journey be all that you seeking,  Mary.  I am sorry that you feel you need to be alone, but my prayers go with you in search of peace.      {{{ HUGS}}}     Ginny

 

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zoetc49 replied on Sun, Dec 29 2013 2:47 PM

I understand it sounds like you feel that no one understands that your in physical pain. It sound's like Philip loves you very much. It sounds like he understands that you don't feel well and most likely need some other type of medication, but I don't know. Can you plan a fun trip with Philip where you two can be alone away from his family and yours. Can you all afford to take a cruise?  

No the quilt will be yours, it might be harder to find you to give it to you. I wonder what Philip will do when you leave him, I am sure that this is going to hurt him very much.    

Since I don't know the physical pain your in, have you contacted your hospital to see if there are any support groups of others that have the same conditions as you have. Having someone that really does understand can help, and maybe they have found some useful tips. 

 

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Agnes replied on Sun, Dec 29 2013 3:58 PM

Mary--I hurt for you though I don't know you. Are you sure you will never want to quilt or sew again? Your circumstances may change and you may find quilting the therapy you eventually need. I am speaking from experience and am so glad that I can now find great joy with my quilting. I never fully gave up quilting but for some time I just used it to numb some of life's pains.

Agnes in NW Ontario

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Patti replied on Mon, Dec 30 2013 8:34 AM

Mary, I am sorry you are feeling so poorly.  Phil obviously wants what is good for you and is right in refusing to give  you the gun, and wanting you to get help.  And the doctors would not "lock you up" unless they thought you were dangerous to yourself or others. 

This is not the first or even second time you have told us you are leaving.  You have done this before,  and I have been glad each time you came back.  I hope you find the answers and may you continue your journey in good heath, where ever that may be.

Patti

Chiliwist Valley

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zoetc49 replied on Mon, Dec 30 2013 10:12 AM

Mary, 

What are your plans? You said you plan to leave Phil's home, are you married to him? Do you feel like you will have peace if you are alone, or do you have family to go to? Can you walk well? I often find that going for a walk helps my outlook. 

You said that his family does not seem to understand your pain, do you have pain each day? What is it that hurts? Is there any other treatment that would help you? 

Did you ask Phil about taking a trip some place? 

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zoetc49 replied on Mon, Dec 30 2013 7:33 PM

Hi Mary, 

I don't know your area, but you might call Salvation Army and see if they can help you with finding a place to live. You might go see where the home less shelters are now. My brother was homeless and I could not take him in, due to other issues. I bought him groceries because he only had my address as a place to get mail, since when your homeless you don't have an address. He would come by my home once a month to get his medication that would come to my home. Since he had to live off of junk food when he ran out of what I got him, his health went south real quick and he was found in a hotel room 4 years ago when he had died alone from a heart attack.    You will need to be warm, so you might wish to wait on the quilt. I just got my block mailed off today and I sure think you should see it.  He was lucky though, he had a car to live out of most of the time. He would tell me he would go into the gyms to take a shower. I guess he went to the restroom outside- yuk and cold this time of year. 

I do wish you had money for a trip. You are right, you are a free woman and  you can go live on the streets, it's not the place I would want to live personally.

What direction do you plan to go? North, South ( it's warmer), Florida is really nice most times of the year- plus you can fish so you can eat.

You don't have to leave us just because you don't want to quilt right now. Have you ever thought of making a few quilts to sell so you can have some money before you don't have anything?

You keep saying that " everyone will be better off without you around". Do you know this for sure? Have they told you this?

What do you think about when you see yourself happy? We all have visions of this for ourselves. I often feel like I wish I would feel useful to someone. I wish I had been married and had kids, but that did not happen. So I am stuck with trying to find everyday little happiness. Somedays it's just seeing a neighbor and taking them out to lunch, it makes me feel good to see them smile.

 

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ls2116 replied on Mon, Dec 30 2013 8:20 PM

That was a great suggesion on the salvation army they help so many people.  May you find your path filled with happiness and quilts along the way.  Remember to talk to one person everyday about anything that makes you smile.  It often helps me when i'm in the blahs.

Quilting My Rainbow

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Angele replied on Mon, Dec 30 2013 9:05 PM

Mary, after I read your posts, I had to close it up and think. I have never met you,that is true, but I feel like I know some parts of you. I know you are talented, warm and caring. I also know you are talented. I am so sorry that the only way you found to be free is to shed your whole life and start again as a homeless person. The only image that comes to mind is that your cup is overflowing. I so wish that someone here could help you see the sun, share your burden so that you could see that there is a different road you can follow and be happy and free. I pray that you find this person on your path. We all need at one point or another, someone to pick up our heavy load so we can see ahead. I'm sending you positive thoughts and prayers. Please take care of you Mary.

Angèle  from NWO

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zoetc49 replied on Tue, Dec 31 2013 3:12 PM

Hi Mary, 

How is the weather there? Do you have plans for tonight to bring in 2014? I have plans but really don't want to go out as there are too many drunks on the road. I might just do what I normally do and stay in and go to bed- always a good choice the way I see it. It's cold here, I don't mind that but when it's too cold I don't go out for a walk and I LOVE to walk outside. last spring I saw a deer and a huge snake and also came upon other wild animals ...and I live in the city, but my water.

What do you enjoy doing? Do you read? Do you work out? Do you like watching movies, if so what type? I can't stand scary ones, too real for me.

Have a nice day !!      

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