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What Are You Up to Today? #9

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Thea replied on Thu, Apr 10 2014 9:45 AM | Locked

I am glad that members are coming back and that the site is getting better.  

I am readying myself for my day.  I am working on finishing up WITW - almost done 2 sides of the binding to finish.  

I am also hoping to get out into my garden today to get a lot of the weeds out - dig up the crocus bulbs and pack them up for the move to their new home somewhere in Appleton MN.  I am hoping they will be safe till they are in the ground up there next spring. 

I know it might not happen to sell this house as quickly as I want but am praying for that to happen.  Jay has the front and one side painted with the first coat - he was waiting for some better weather as just as soon as he started painting the weather turned cold again last week - but it looks like we might have a few hot ones this week.

I am also working on a tote to go for retreats and classes that can be made out of fat quarters.  I have most of it designed but need to feel healthy enough to get up and finish up the directions and the samples.  Crossing my fingers for warm weather to help this arthritis out... and to warm up all those inflamed ligaments and tendons... no fun getting old for this lady... but still smiling.

I am so hopeful that QCA will get back to normal and we will all be able to get in here and talk again.  I have met so many wonderful people who have helped and uplifted me over the years.  Smiling and sending butterfly hugs and hope to all!

 

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Marsha-SM replied on Thu, Apr 10 2014 12:53 PM | Locked

chocake2:
I keep hoping Dh will move her move to a retirement facility, where she'll have better supervision then we can provide (we live an hour away). He keeps saying she's not ready.   At this point, I question whether the decision should be left up to her?

CC, I feel for you.  We are in the same situation with Rich's mother who is now 100 and living across the road from us where she has lived for over 75 years (Rich is 75!).  she doesn't want to leave her home and has a caretaker for several hours a day, five days a week.  She takes her out to eat a few days a week, Mon and Thurs to the firehall for Senior Citizens lunches and exercise and to a restaurant in town for Friday fish fries.  Mom has just enough money to last a few more weeks before we have to find another source of money for her (probably from OUR retirement fund.)  Her health is better than ours but her mind isn't!  She thinks she is fine but then whines that she wants someone to visit her so she isn't alone!  I keep telling her she would have lots of people to talk to her and activities to occupy her at the nursing home, but she says she doesn't need to go there!!  She forgets that if she needs help when she is alone that we are gone all day Monday thru Saturday except when I get a break as I am today.  

These rare days are catch-up days - - - should be housework catch-up, but instead I am on here "catching up"!  It seems so nice to be able to actually get around the site normally.  I also did have to re-sign up like others have, but everything was in it's place when I got on here.   Saved up trash and 2 week old boiled, cracked eggs don't sound so pleasant.  I hope she can smell them and dispose of them when they are offensive.  Rich's mother has no sense of smell - - - another good reason for the nursing home.  The grandchildren take care of her on Saturdays and have decided that taking her to their houses is much better than having to clean up after her in her own home!  She doesn't seem to know when she has "missed" and doesn't smell the evidence.  

I guess I had better get to housework now  (or taxes which I haven't finished yet).  It feels so good not being bounced around on our pot-holed, rutted, muddy roads today. but the back will not appreciate the floor mop.  The mud needs to be washed of them!!  It is about 60 today, mud partially dried up, and heavy rains predicted for tomorrow.  It least it looks and feels like the s**w is gone, at least for a few days.

 

Marsha - Western New York

 

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Gail lWhite replied on Thu, Apr 10 2014 2:43 PM | Locked

Hi, I am a newcomer to the site, but I wanted to add a word of hope for you, and information. I only read your post today, but I am a retired geriatric social worker. If at all possible, DO NOT use your retirement to take care of your mother-in-law. Put yourself first even if it sounds selfish. In my years of work I saw more than my share of caregivers die BEFORE the person they are caring for. You, the caregiver, inherit the stress of bill paying, laundry, meals. Remember what her desires for her son were before she became older and less aware.

I apologize for butting in, but like I said, I have watched too many caregivers die before the person they were taking care of died.

wig

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chocake2 replied on Thu, Apr 10 2014 3:21 PM | Locked

One thing's for sure...getting old ain't what it's cracked up to be. Golden Years, My Patoot. ...

 I'm sure not one of us thinks that we'll ever be that frail needy person that they are struggling to take care of now. I try not to delude myself. That's my future looking out of my Mother in Law's eyes. 40 years ago, she was in my shoes. When I'm having a hard time dealing with her issues, I try to remember that. 

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Ginny replied on Thu, Apr 10 2014 3:55 PM | Locked

Gail. I couldn't agree more with what you have to say.   That is what I did and now I am having great difficulty meeting my own necessities because I did so much for my Mother especially.      Ginny

 

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Dawn replied on Sat, Apr 12 2014 9:23 AM | Locked

I am enjoying being home!  Cause in 5 days we will leave for my DS's house for Easter and then I will be staying to watch them while they pack up DDIL's Mom to move in w/them.  

The weather is finally turning nice!  Today close to 75, I think!  We are expecting some weather later today, and all day tomorrow, but we need the rain.  I love thunderstorms, but not tornadoes!!!!   

I still don't have my sewing room cleaned up, as DH is still working on the shower.  It is slow going as he has to make a lot of cuts in the tile.  

The peafowl are out and running around and making us crazy!  They are now starting to slam themselves into the doors.  I think it is because the doors are reflective and they see another peacock.  It is a terrible sound and shakes the whole house as they are not little birds!  

I think I am finally over the cold that had a hold of me for a few weeks.  It just never got really bad.  But I didn't feel right for quite some time.  I would just rather feel awful for 3 days and be done!

Well, the wash is calling me, better get moving, gotta see if DH needs more tile opened up too.

Everyone have the most blessed weekend!!!

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Karla replied on Sat, Apr 12 2014 10:10 AM | Locked

I agree with everything said here about caring for your parents.  My Dad is 89 next week and still cares for himself, but it is scary.  He forgets so many things and still walks the neighborhood daily when he is up to it.  He was walking 5 miles a day but hips are bothering him now so he has cut down his walking.  He still lives alone, although my sister checks on him frequently, by phone, and spends every Saturday with him.  He complains that he has outlived all of his friends and relatives his age and no longer has anyone to visit with.  We live 175 miles away and have asked him to move in with us, but he refuses to move in and be a burden to either me or my sister (she lives 12 miles away).  She would go over and spend more time with him, but she also babysits grandchildren.  It's really tough being in the middle and trying to help both your children and your parents.

As far as today goes, I'm going to try to catch up a little on the house cleaning and quilting and yardwork, but somehow I think the quilting will win out as I am exhausted from the past week of babysitting and being a taxi service for the grands.

I have managed to make breakfast, take out the trash, and water the garden this morning so far and now I'm going to sit down at my sewing machine and finish piecing the baby quilt top that I started this week during baby's nap time (she wasn't very cooperative with taking naps this week.  I think she is beginning to teeth).

DH missed the last step of the stepladder on Thursday and is now suffering from back spasms.  He was having spasms before he slipped off the ladder, and had no business on that ladder, but the garage door opener wasn't  working and he insisted he could adjust it himself.  He did get it to work, but now he is suffering so I guess I get to wait on him also.

 

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SpringerMom replied on Sat, Apr 12 2014 10:32 AM | Locked

Karla, it sounds as tho you're about at the end of your string! I recall reading somewhere that we are known as "the sandwich generation" caring for both our parents and the needs of our children. I think our kids ask for more help from us than I ever recall our parents generation doing. Don't know why that is... maybe our parents were too proud to ask for help even if they were in need, both as young parents and now that they are elderly? The issue for many of us here, is that we are getting a teensy bit older, haha... and have stamina issues now! It's not easy caring for babies, chasing toddlers and schoolers around. Meeting all of their various needs is just plain exhausting.  I'm not sure if the parents realize how difficult it can become for us. What to do? Who knows. One thing I do know is that these "golden years" are not all they're cracked up to be, at times!   kathy

 

My Sunshine doesn't come from the skies, It comes from the love in my dog's eyes.

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Karla replied on Sat, Apr 12 2014 10:47 AM | Locked

Kathy, I heartily agree with everything you said.  I think part of it is that we don't act old like our parents and grandparents may have done when in their 60's and 70's, and so now our children don't think of us as old, LOL.  My mind says I'm not old, but my body and stamina beg to differ.

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Ginny replied on Sat, Apr 12 2014 11:02 AM | Locked

Ah yes, Karla.  It is difficult to be the sandwich generation.  When I was caring for my mother and dad when they could no longer care for themselves, I had to retire early as it was just too much to try to work and have the worry about them.  their health was failing fast and after my Mom got lost coming home from the grocery store that was 2 blocks away and found herself in a town 20,miles away, I just couldn't justify leaving them alone for the 9 hours a day by themselves. 

Then 2 years later, I became a great grandma and babysat my GGS every day in addition to my parents who by that time were living in a senior apt. and my brother was sharing the overseeing of their needs with me.    Great fun.     Ginny

 

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Thea replied on Sat, Apr 12 2014 11:49 AM | Locked

Karla - I know what it is like to have a parent not want to live anymore.  My Mom who lives with me will be 89 in Sept and she hasn't wanted to live since she had the bad stroke in 2012 - It is hard to watch the women who was so independant not care about living or doing anything.  I have to practice tough love by telling her to get up and get things by herself while my heart breaks watching her and to have her so angry with me most of the time.  I wish she was a wonderful Mother and caring but she wasn't nor will she ever be - but I don't want to abandon her in a nursing home either... so she lives here with us and I try to make the best of it.  she will move with us to MN when we move there and I hope that with the grandkids that she will be warmer.  I hope!

In the meantime, I have vowed never to give up the hope that I have right now and to keep trying.  I know that as I get older it will be harder for me to do what I do now but I vowed to my son that I would keep trying and learn one lesson from my Mom - to never give up hope even if I outlive all my friends which I hope becomes impossible... but should it be I will be blessed if I am around great grand children.... 

I know my Mom had a hard life growing up during WW2 and all the things she lived through and that generation did... but gosh I just wish a little of the caring for others would have still been with them... rather then the sour grapes... 

But enough about sad older things... great news in our house today - it was a real blessed day...

My DH, Jay, got baptized today!  It was so beautiful... his first words after coming back up out of the water were WOW!  It was just awesome and to feel so much love in that room was wonderful!

 

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chocake2 replied on Sat, Apr 12 2014 12:56 PM | Locked

After washing my hair this mornin', I commented that I was due for a trim, the split ends were starting to get out of hand. DD piped up that she'd be happy to take an inch or so off, and I consented. Now it's 8" shorter... It was a lo-ong inch!  Somewhere, off in the distance, I can hear our dear Diane laughing. 

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Marie replied on Sat, Apr 12 2014 1:24 PM | Locked

Karla, you do so much, God Bless you!  Hope your DH's spasms go away quickly, that's no fun.

Millbury, MA

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Marie replied on Sat, Apr 12 2014 1:25 PM | Locked

Dawn:
Everyone have the most blessed weekend!!!

Back atcha, Dawn!  And to all my family here on QCA!

Millbury, MA

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Marie replied on Sat, Apr 12 2014 1:29 PM | Locked

Thea, how wonderful your DH got baptized today!  God Bless him and his family!

Millbury, MA

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