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What Are You Up to Today? #9

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Julienne replied on Wed, Aug 14 2013 11:20 AM | Locked

Jan:

Julienne,

You are getting it from both sides.  I am so sorry.  In NY State you also would have to pay an additional 17% of YOUR social security.  It is absolutely absurd.  I have always thought that if they are in violation of court ordered parenting plans the support should stop.  But that would be a total fiasco in most cases.   If he is going to college he can continue to collect the money until he is 21.  But when he turns 18 the money will come in his name.  I get so angry and frustrated for all the parents out there, single parents, that are getting so screwed by the ignorance and selfishness of the other.

In NY you would be eligible for a public defender.  Is that an option in your state for you to fight for your visitation? Or is it even worth it. . .

I will keep on praying for you.

jan

 

Well, He does not get my any % of my Social Security Disibily because it is Disibility and it is my full benefit amount as if I was on just SS. But what they are giving him is the Dependant amount (as if I were dead or mamed) every month. So that is how he gets his money. None of it goes to my son. Even tho it has his name on it. the ex has bought a Harley, A house which he never could have gotten before, a new Truck, goes on several expensive vacations with the woman he cheated on me with.   Well that is here nor there. He gets the money, we can never as the paying parent control where the money goes to.   My son can ONLY get money until he turns 18. Even if he goes to College. Whichis doubtful since I have been forced out of the picture this straight student went down to a D level student.  He will not get into college that way.  And trust me any plans for his future are being kept from me. 

I have fought for the visitation til he bled me dry. There is no money left right now and he is breaking the partenting plan by not letting me see or talk to my son.  

Yep I can't win. But I try to smile every day. 

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Marie replied on Wed, Aug 14 2013 11:36 AM | Locked

Julienne:
I have fought for the visitation til he bled me dry. There is no money left right now and he is breaking the partenting plan by not letting me see or talk to my son.  

Julz, my heart breaks for you and your son, maybe he will come to you some day when his dad doesn't get paid for keeping him anymore.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.  (((((HUGS)))))

Millbury, MA

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zoetc49 replied on Wed, Aug 14 2013 12:52 PM | Locked

Julienne,

I am so sorry that you having to deal with this. I will say that as the other parent  does have the right to use the money as it is for the care of the child. With your extra money he is able to use that money for food, shelter and clothing, and his money for all that glitters. This is what he would say anyways...and it would hold up in court.

I feel for you on your son. I have a family member that is bright but his Dad has decided that his son does not need to go to school, is allowed to use drugs ( he is 14) and now it seems that he does not believe in God.  The dad does not work and is getting money from his Mom to live. There is nothing I can do. The child's future looks bleak. I hope your son has some talent and can at least go to a trade school. He will come back to you when he is mature enough to understand what you were trying to teach him.  Maybe you can put a few extra dollars away for him to help him go to a trade school when he gets older., and if not use it for a trip for yourself one day.  

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Sukochi replied on Wed, Aug 14 2013 3:47 PM | Locked

Jan:
As it has turned out, she has been living with us again since 16 months after that decision. She is 15  and has lived with us 10 of those years. And by law we have no rights?!?
This is up to you. Take this to a higher level. Make noise, talk to other grandparents in your situation, confront your congress. The squeaky wheel gets the oil. Make a difference. Form a group, have people sign petitions. Make them change the law. You hear of people all the time, starting grass roots organizations and getting laws changed. Maybe, you can't do it by yourself. But, I would think if you search, there are plenty other grandparents in your state that would be happy to join in on the cause..

Sukochi

 

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MelodyP MO/KS replied on Wed, Aug 14 2013 5:17 PM | Locked

Marie:

Julienne:
I have fought for the visitation til he bled me dry. There is no money left right now and he is breaking the partenting plan by not letting me see or talk to my son.  

Julz, my heart breaks for you and your son, maybe he will come to you some day when his dad doesn't get paid for keeping him anymore.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.  (((((HUGS)))))

Very well put ,Marie.  Julz, Marie is right.  Once dad isn't playing head games your son will want to know your side and you'll be able to be with him.  Both my kids had to find out the hard way.  It was painful for me to step back and let them learn on their own, but I am very close to my son and my daughter and I are just now working through some old issues without her Dad's interference.  Katie is 31.   So do not give up.   Motherhood is not for the faint of heart and we tread where fools won't and angels fear.  Because we love our kids.

MelodyP

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Dawn replied on Wed, Aug 14 2013 6:25 PM | Locked

Well, what am I up to today . . . helped DH put in last round window over the front door.  Also, helped him put in new front door.  So nice!  Lets in so much more light!  Also helped him put things away, pick up trash and the like.  Feet are done.  Thank the Lord I have left-overs for supper!  Tomorrow helping DD w/her garage sale.  She had already made quite a bit today, and only after being open for a couple hours.  :-)  I am hand quilting a wall hanging, so may take that tomorrow.  Am taking DGS3 home tomorrow w/me so she doesn't have him under her feet.  Will take him home sometime Friday.  I love having my babies!!!!

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Karla replied on Wed, Aug 14 2013 6:39 PM | Locked

I am so mad right now...I mowed the lawn, and have been making and canning salsa all day.  This morning I put pork chops in the crock pot to cook all day, and I just went to check them, and the darn crock pot has quit.  It hasn't gotten hot at all...and now it is almost 5 o'clock and I'm going to have to put them in the oven and heat up the house even more.  I would take them outside and put them on the grill, but they have all of this mushroom sauce all over them.  Such a disappointment...I thought I had dinner all done already.

 

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Dawn replied on Wed, Aug 14 2013 7:49 PM | Locked

Karla, sorry about supper.  What a pain.  :-(

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Susan replied on Wed, Aug 14 2013 9:02 PM | Locked

Lesley:
Is I am after a favour. I am sure you mentioned you had the quilting guide to shops
                       Lesley, I sent you a PM( Friend) not sure if it went through as it said there was an error. However, I will be glad to give you info on quilt shops in Florida. I just went on a Bus Shop Hop tour and one of the Cities was Orlando. There are some nice shops there.Let me know if you get my e-mail???      Susan 

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MNnancy replied on Wed, Aug 14 2013 9:23 PM | Locked

didash:
Got the Strata Star Table Topper pattern (also called Crazy Eights)...got the strips sewn together early last week.  Went to get the pattern out to cut the triangles...of course with all the sorting and packing going on here, I can't find the pattern :(  (probably already packed somewhere)... The problem is I NEED to get this finished by tomorrow for a gift so I don't have time to order another pattern :(   Does anyone have the pattern that could tell me the sizes to cut the triangles????

Didash, I'm sorry you didn't get a response to this question.  Perhaps more people will see it if you post it in the "Ask quilting questions here" forum - click on the blue "new post" link.   (Darn, saw the time of your post, and this suggestion is probably coming to you too late.) 


On the banks of the Mississippi River in north central Minnesota (Brainerd lakes area)

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ls2116 replied on Wed, Aug 14 2013 10:30 PM | Locked

This is what I accomplished today.  Sewed another border on quilt top Dh doesn't care for it , but i'm going with it anyway.

Took down my pool what a mess prepping for winter now.

Called state rep office on the upsetting mailed advertisement, and I don't know if I just had a sympatetic person on the line but he told me they would check to see if there is a law on the books about that sort of thing.  I would gladly start a petition if i knew how to go about it.

Talked with bil and sil today.  SIL husband was scheduled for surgery today had him all prepped under anesthesia and they had to postpone it because his heart was skipping beats.  So now he is in icu and now he has to have two procedures .  I think they want to go in via groin to shock his heart into regular rythm before doing thyroid surg.  

My inlaws don't have dependable cars so I think I'll be driving my car to hospital tomorrow.  Other than all this a pretty normal day.  

To be continued...........................Lol

Quilting My Rainbow

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Jan replied on Thu, Aug 15 2013 10:50 AM | Locked

Sukochi,

There is a significantly large organization in NY to fight for the rights of grandparents, and I have belonged for over 10 years.  There are 6 sub sections that I am aware of.  We have talked to the governor, spoken to the state house and senate. Most of us write to and or speak with our congressmen at least annually. We are working very diligently for this cause.  Unfortunately we are not a top priority and are still being pushed to the side on a regular basis.  I for one am not going to give up. My story is one of the nicer ones in our Rochester group.  No and I mean NO grandparent should have to fight for the rights to see our offspring. The last head count for up-state was over 20,000 participating grandparents.  That includes all of NY except the 5 Boroughs of NYC.

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Addie replied on Thu, Aug 15 2013 12:48 PM | Locked

Thank you so much for sharing photos of these beautiful quilts. Always wanted to visit Amish country and see their beautiful farms and crafts.                                                  Addie

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Julienne replied on Thu, Aug 15 2013 2:00 PM | Locked

I want to thank everyone for your kind words. I pray you are all correct and my hopes and prayers are answered. Since he had brainwashed my son who is in the military I also do not have contact with it either and he is 21 so I hope for that too one day.  I have my Daughter and for that is important. My health has to be important and I have my DF. 

I know how the "Child Support" issue money works in the court of law, and I have no problem with it being used correctly,  I just wish that the money went for him and his education and food etc.  Not a drunken *** who wants a bunch of toys and throws a bunch of booze parties.  Sorry that sounded judgmental but it is true. I have contacts and the school who have contacted me before telling me how my son needs a tutor, but I refer them to my ex and tell them it is suppose to come out of the child support money as I am on disability. They also tell me that he needs money to eat at school, again that comes out of child support money.  If he is standing in the office and they cannot gt ahold of the ex and he needs to eat I will give them enough money for that day.  But the child will still not talk to me or say thank you.   In fact  the ex this school registration (not knowing I am moving down the road) deleted my address and phone stating he did not know them anymore. I had to call the school to find out why I did not get anything from them regarding the first day.  Real Nice. He has my phone..Not changing and once the move totally took place I would give him that, but he has this address and it has not changed. What a wonderful world we live in when we get divorced.

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Lesley replied on Thu, Aug 15 2013 3:42 PM | Locked

Susan Thank you I have replied

 

Lxxx

 

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