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Joke/Inspiration of the Day #3

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Bonita replied on Tue, Oct 22 2013 8:28 PM

That's so cute Marie, Makes me miss my furbabies.

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MNnancy replied on Tue, Oct 22 2013 9:40 PM

LOL - Well Patti, I have sent many of the jokes here on QCA to my pastor because he loves to share jokes in church, and due to the God references, I was tempted to send yours on, but I just decided I can't do it this time.  Maybe if pastor was a woman...

I did love it, though!


On the banks of the Mississippi River in north central Minnesota (Brainerd lakes area)

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weezee56 replied on Wed, Oct 23 2013 12:00 AM

Patti, Your joke was really cute.

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Dawn replied on Sun, Oct 27 2013 5:20 PM

Do you fart in bed ?

If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I’ll pray for you. This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning
she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, “Honey you were right… all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.” “What do you mean?” asked his wife. “Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…….............…..”


 

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Mimi replied on Sun, Oct 27 2013 5:33 PM

Oh Dawn, my eyes are tearing so much from laughing the front of my shirt is wet.  I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read the punch line or the keyboard would be all wet as well.  I haven't laughed that much and that hard since the last quilting retreat I went on.  Thanks for a  truly funny story!!

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Dawn replied on Sun, Oct 27 2013 6:41 PM

You are so welcome Mimi!  :-D

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MNnancy replied on Sun, Oct 27 2013 8:32 PM

Dawn, Dawn, Dawn...

Well, I controlled myself and only sent that on to six people who I knew would appreciate it without thinking worse of me.  Groan.  :-)


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MNnancy replied on Sun, Oct 27 2013 9:13 PM

Don't forget - once each year!


On the banks of the Mississippi River in north central Minnesota (Brainerd lakes area)

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Patti replied on Sun, Oct 27 2013 10:43 PM

October is breast cancer awareness month. Get those puppies checked!

Patti

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MNnancy replied on Mon, Oct 28 2013 8:20 AM

Great minds think alike!  The middle puppy looks quite happy flaunting her stuff!


On the banks of the Mississippi River in north central Minnesota (Brainerd lakes area)

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Leslie replied on Tue, Oct 29 2013 8:34 PM

OMG you girls are so bad ROFLOL

[Ava, Missouri

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Leslie replied on Tue, Oct 29 2013 8:36 PM

This reminds me of so many of you, wont mention any names lol

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Marie replied on Wed, Oct 30 2013 11:02 AM

Guess where this is located?

Millbury, MA

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Marie replied on Wed, Oct 30 2013 11:02 AM

Guess where this is located?

Millbury, MA

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Marie replied on Wed, Oct 30 2013 11:05 AM

Sorry for the double post and no pic!  How does one delete a post?

Millbury, MA

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