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Joke/Inspiration of the Day #3

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Dawn replied on Fri, Sep 27 2013 10:11 AM

We all need a good laugh, go to this and laugh and laugh and laugh!  Tooooooooooo FUNNY!!!!!!!

http://95rockfm.com/best-voicemail-giving-play-by-play-of-car-accident/

 

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Marie replied on Fri, Sep 27 2013 10:21 AM

Dawn, my sides are aching from laughter, tooooo funny!!!!!!!!

Millbury, MA

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Nana replied on Fri, Sep 27 2013 11:43 AM

Dawn

That is too funny.  Glad I had already swallowed my coffee.....ROFLOL

Vinton, Virginia

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ls2116 replied on Fri, Sep 27 2013 8:06 PM

Wish I had a joke for yas but I've never been good at joking but I like reading them.

Quilting My Rainbow

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MNnancy replied on Sat, Sep 28 2013 7:44 AM

Ha, that guy's laughter is contagious!


On the banks of the Mississippi River in north central Minnesota (Brainerd lakes area)

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Marie replied on Tue, Oct 1 2013 11:16 AM

 

SEX AT 
68
I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox,
informing me that 
I can have sex at 68.
I'm so happy, because I live at number 72.
So it's 
not too far to walk home afterwards.  
And it's the same side of the 
street.
I don't even have to cross the road!

~~
Answering 
machine message,
"I am not available right now,
but thank you for caring 
enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a 
message after the beep.
If I do not return your call,
you are one of the 
changes."
 
~~~~~
Aspire to inspire before you 
expire.
~~~~~
My wife and I had words, but I didn't 
get to use mine.
~~~~~
Frustration is trying to find 
your glasses without your glasses.
~~~~~
Blessed are 
those who can give without remembering
and take without 
forgetting.   
~~~~~
The irony of life is 
that,
by the time you're  old enough to know your way 
around,
you're not going anywhere.
~~~~~
God made 
man before woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer for her first 
question.
~~~~~
I was always taught to respect my 
elders,
but it keeps getting harder to find 
one.
~~~~~
Every morning is the dawn of a new 
error.
~~~~~
The quote of the month is by Jay 
Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control,
mud slides, 
flooding, severe thunderstorms
tearing up the country from one end to 
another,
and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks,
are we 
sure this is a good time to take
God out of the Pledge of 
Allegiance?"   
~~~~~
For those that 
prefer to think that
God is not watching over us....
go ahead and delete 
this.
For the rest of us...pass this on!

 

Millbury, MA

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Nana replied on Tue, Oct 1 2013 11:22 AM

Good ones Marie.

Vinton, Virginia

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Patti replied on Wed, Oct 9 2013 12:19 AM

I have tried 2 times to post a joke.  First time got a message that it had to be reviewed first.  The second time it looked like it was going to take, but nothing happened, no rejection, and no posting.  So I am in part posting this message to see what happens.

Patti

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Patti replied on Wed, Oct 9 2013 12:20 AM

hmmm.  maybe it I removed the pictures from the joke.

Patti

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MNnancy replied on Wed, Oct 9 2013 7:45 AM

If the pictures contain links (which you may not even see), then that is what's keeping it from posting.  QCA does not allow multiple links in a single message.


On the banks of the Mississippi River in north central Minnesota (Brainerd lakes area)

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Patti replied on Wed, Oct 9 2013 8:53 AM

I will type out the joke tonight and post it.  It is too good not to. 

Patti

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Susan replied on Wed, Oct 9 2013 9:45 AM

Dawn, That was my laugh for the day. It was too funny! Thanks for sharing!     Susan

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weezee56 replied on Tue, Oct 22 2013 5:31 PM

That  was so cute Marie. Looks like my DSIL's animals.

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Patti replied on Tue, Oct 22 2013 8:16 PM

The Thingy!  Why men can pee standing up.

God was just about done creating humans, but he had two parts left over.  He couldn't decide how to split them between Adam and Eve so he thought he might just as well ask them.

He told them one of the things he had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee while standing up.

"It's a very handy thing," God told them. "and I was wondering if either one of you had a preference for it."  Well Adam jumped up and down and begged God  "Please give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that. It seems like just the sort of thing a man should have.  Please! Pleeease! Give it to me!"  On and on he went like an excited little boy.

Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he could have it.  So God gave Adam the thing the allowing him to pee standing up.

Adam was so excited he just started whizzing all over the place-first on the side of a rock, then he wrote his name in the sand, and then he tried to see if he could hit a stump 10 feet away.-laughing with delight all the while.

God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve  "Well , I guess you are kind of stuck with the last thing I have left.."  "What's it called?" asked Eve.

"Brains" said God,

and man has been obsessed with the thingy ever since!

Patti

Chiliwist Valley

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