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Joke/Inspiration of the Day #2

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Marie replied on Thu, Mar 14 2013 12:16 PM | Locked

Good one Gini!

Millbury, MA

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chocake2 replied on Thu, Mar 14 2013 2:12 PM | Locked

http://fox13now.com/2013/03/12/viral-video-undercover-jeff-gordon-takes-car-salesman-on-a-wild-test-drive/

Quilters are people who strip so they won't go topless.

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chocake2 replied on Thu, Mar 14 2013 2:30 PM | Locked

 

COWBOY POETRY - WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR

I ain't much for shopping, 
Nor even goin' into town - 
Except at cattle-shipping time, 
I ain't too easily found. 

But the day came when I had to go 
And I left the kids with ma. 
But before I left she asked me, 
"Would you pick me up a bra?" 

Without thinkin' I said "Sure," 
How tough could that job be? 
I bent down and kissed her 
And said, "I'll be back by three" 

Well, when I done the things I needed, 
I started to regret 
Ever offering to buy that thing, 
I was working up a sweat. 

I crossed the street to the ladies shop 
With my hat pulled over my eyes, 
I wasn't takin' any chances 
On bein' recognized. 

I walked up to the sales clerk - 
I didn't hem or haw - 
I told the lady right straight out, 
"Ma'am, I'm here to buy a bra." 


From behind I heard some snickers, 
So I turned around to see 
At least fifteen women in the store 
And they's all a'gawkin' at me! 

"What kind would you be looking for
" Well," I just scratched my head. 
I'd only seen one kind before 
"Thought bras was bras," I said. 

She gives me a disgusted look, 
"Well sir, that's where you're wrong. 
"Come with me," I heard her say, 
And like a dog, I tagged along. 

She took me down this alley 
Where bras was on display. 
Well, I thought my jaw'd hit the floor 
When I seen that lingerie. 

They had all these different styles 
That I'd not seen before 
I thought that I'd go crazy 
'fore I left that women's store. 

They had bras you wear for eighteen hours 
And bras that cross your heart. 
There was bras that lift and separate, 
And that was just the start. 

They had bras that made you feel 
Like you weren't wearing one at all, 
And bras that you can train in 
When you start off when you're small. 

Well, I finally make my mind up - 
Picked a black and lacy one - 
I told the lady, "Bag it up," 
And figured I was done 

But then she asked me for the size. 
I didn't hesitate. 
I knew them measurements by heart, 
"A six-and-seven-eighths." 

"Six and seven eighths, well sir, 
That really isn't right." 
"Oh, yes ma'am! Yeah, I'm positive, 
I just measured them last night." 

I thought that she'd go into shock, 
Musta took her by surprise 
When I told her that my wife's bust 
Was the same as my hat size. 

"That's what I used to measure with, 
I figured it was fair, 
But if I'm wrong, I'm sorry ma'am." 
This drew another stare. 

By now a crowd had gathered 
And they's all crackin' up 
When the lady asked to see my hat, 
To measure for the cup. 

When she finally had it figured, 
I gave the gal her pay. 
Then I turned to leave the store, 
Tipped my hat and said, "Good day." 

My wife heard the whole story 
'fore I ever made it home. 
She'd talked to fifteen women 
Who'd called her on the phone. 

She was still a-laughing 
But by then I didn't care. 
Now she don't ask and I don't shop 
For no more women's underwear. 

~Author Unknown

Quilters are people who strip so they won't go topless.

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Ginny replied on Thu, Mar 14 2013 4:38 PM | Locked

Thank you CC.  They only showed a little of that on the news this morning-----they missed the good parts. ROFLMAO    Ginny

 

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Marie replied on Thu, Mar 14 2013 6:24 PM | Locked

chocake2:

 

COWBOY POETRY - WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR

I ain't much for shopping, 
Nor even goin' into town - 
Except at cattle-shipping time, 
I ain't too easily found. 

But the day came when I had to go 
And I left the kids with ma. 
But before I left she asked me, 
"Would you pick me up a bra?" 

Without thinkin' I said "Sure," 
How tough could that job be? 
I bent down and kissed her 
And said, "I'll be back by three" 

Well, when I done the things I needed, 
I started to regret 
Ever offering to buy that thing, 
I was working up a sweat. 

I crossed the street to the ladies shop 
With my hat pulled over my eyes, 
I wasn't takin' any chances 
On bein' recognized. 

I walked up to the sales clerk - 
I didn't hem or haw - 
I told the lady right straight out, 
"Ma'am, I'm here to buy a bra." 


From behind I heard some snickers, 
So I turned around to see 
At least fifteen women in the store 
And they's all a'gawkin' at me! 

"What kind would you be looking for
" Well," I just scratched my head. 
I'd only seen one kind before 
"Thought bras was bras," I said. 

She gives me a disgusted look, 
"Well sir, that's where you're wrong. 
"Come with me," I heard her say, 
And like a dog, I tagged along. 

She took me down this alley 
Where bras was on display. 
Well, I thought my jaw'd hit the floor 
When I seen that lingerie. 

They had all these different styles 
That I'd not seen before 
I thought that I'd go crazy 
'fore I left that women's store. 

They had bras you wear for eighteen hours 
And bras that cross your heart. 
There was bras that lift and separate, 
And that was just the start. 

They had bras that made you feel 
Like you weren't wearing one at all, 
And bras that you can train in 
When you start off when you're small. 

Well, I finally make my mind up - 
Picked a black and lacy one - 
I told the lady, "Bag it up," 
And figured I was done 

But then she asked me for the size. 
I didn't hesitate. 
I knew them measurements by heart, 
"A six-and-seven-eighths." 

"Six and seven eighths, well sir, 
That really isn't right." 
"Oh, yes ma'am! Yeah, I'm positive, 
I just measured them last night." 

I thought that she'd go into shock, 
Musta took her by surprise 
When I told her that my wife's bust 
Was the same as my hat size. 

"That's what I used to measure with, 
I figured it was fair, 
But if I'm wrong, I'm sorry ma'am." 
This drew another stare. 

By now a crowd had gathered 
And they's all crackin' up 
When the lady asked to see my hat, 
To measure for the cup. 

When she finally had it figured, 
I gave the gal her pay. 
Then I turned to leave the store, 
Tipped my hat and said, "Good day." 

My wife heard the whole story 
'fore I ever made it home. 
She'd talked to fifteen women 
Who'd called her on the phone. 

She was still a-laughing 
But by then I didn't care. 
Now she don't ask and I don't shop 
For no more women's underwear. 

~Author Unknown

Loved this one CC!

Millbury, MA

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ls2116 replied on Thu, Mar 14 2013 7:07 PM | Locked

good one cc.

Quilting My Rainbow

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Kris replied on Fri, Mar 15 2013 3:01 AM | Locked

gini:
Now give me back my dog.

Good one Gini.

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Kris replied on Fri, Mar 15 2013 3:02 AM | Locked

chocake2:

I really hope that was staged. That salesman took it too lightly when he found out the truth.

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Kris replied on Fri, Mar 15 2013 3:15 AM | Locked

chocake2:
COWBOY POETRY - WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR

LOL. I love it Chocake.

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Marie replied on Fri, Mar 15 2013 2:13 PM | Locked

Subject: The Paperless Future - "Emma"   
 

Millbury, MA

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Ginny replied on Fri, Mar 15 2013 2:25 PM | Locked

Good one, Marie           EMMA!              Ginny

 

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Ginny L replied on Fri, Mar 15 2013 4:38 PM | Locked

 Here's a good one

http://www.godvine.com/Father-of-the-Bride-Gives-the-Most-Touching-Speech-Ever-2831.html?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=2-13-2013

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chocake2 replied on Fri, Mar 15 2013 6:35 PM | Locked

Don't forget to wear purple and eat fish stew tomorrow!

Ooksi kooksi coolama vee
Santia Urho is ta poy for me!
He sase out ta hoppers as pig as pirds.
Neffer peefor haff I hurd tose words!

He reely tolt tose pugs of kreen
Braffest Finn I effer seen
Some celebrate for St. Pat unt hiss nakes
Putt Urho poyka kot what it takes.

He kot tall and trong from feelia sour
Unt ate kala moyakka effery hour.
Tat's why tat kuy could sase toes peetles
What krew as thick as chack bine neetles.

So let's give a cheer in hower pest vay
On Sixteenth of March, St. Urho's Tay.

Quilters are people who strip so they won't go topless.

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Marie replied on Fri, Mar 15 2013 6:53 PM | Locked

Ginny, that was one of the best videos I've ever seen.  He gave great advice!  :  )

Millbury, MA

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Marie replied on Fri, Mar 15 2013 6:54 PM | Locked

CC, ???

Millbury, MA

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