IRISH OR ITALIAN ... There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola,whose lives paralleled each other in amazing ways. In the same yearTimothy was born in Ireland, Antonio was born in Italy.Faithfully they attended parochial School from kindergarten throughtheir senior year in high school. They took their vows to enter thepriesthood early in college, and upon graduation, became priests.Their careers had come to amaze the world, but it was generallyacknowledged that Antonio Secola was just a wee cut aboveTimothy Murphy in all respects.Their rise through the ranks of Bishop, Archbishop and finallyCardinal was swift to say the least and the Catholic world knewthat when the present Pope died, it would be one of the two whowould become the next Pope.In time the Pope did die, and the College of Cardinals went to work.In less time than anyone had expected, white smoke rose from thechimney and the world waited to see whom they had chosen.The world, Catholic, Protestant and secular, was surprised to learnthat Timothy Murphy had been elected Pope !Antonio Secola was beyond surprise. He was devastated, because even with all of Timothy's gifts, Antonio knew he was just a bit better qualified.With gall that shocked the Cardinals, Antonio Secola asked for a private session with them in which he candidly asked: "Why Timothy ?"After a long silence, an old Cardinal took pity on the bewildered man and rose to reply."We knew you were the better of the two, but we just could not bear the thought of the leader of the Roman Catholic Church being called POPE SE-COLA ! *You know you're going to pass it on to Catholic and non-Catholic friends alike !*
IRISH OR ITALIAN ... There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola,whose lives paralleled each other in amazing ways. In the same yearTimothy was born in Ireland, Antonio was born in Italy.Faithfully they attended parochial School from kindergarten throughtheir senior year in high school. They took their vows to enter thepriesthood early in college, and upon graduation, became priests.Their careers had come to amaze the world, but it was generallyacknowledged that Antonio Secola was just a wee cut aboveTimothy Murphy in all respects.Their rise through the ranks of Bishop, Archbishop and finallyCardinal was swift to say the least and the Catholic world knewthat when the present Pope died, it would be one of the two whowould become the next Pope.In time the Pope did die, and the College of Cardinals went to work.In less time than anyone had expected, white smoke rose from thechimney and the world waited to see whom they had chosen.The world, Catholic, Protestant and secular, was surprised to learnthat Timothy Murphy had been elected Pope !Antonio Secola was beyond surprise. He was devastated, because even with all of Timothy's gifts, Antonio knew he was just a bit better qualified.With gall that shocked the Cardinals, Antonio Secola asked for
Millbury, MA
POPE SE-COLA !
Thanks for the laugh today Marie.
LOL Marie.
Subject: FW: Two Female parrots A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, But they only know to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest asked. They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?" "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, Then he thought for a moment. "You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter. My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time." "Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution." The next day she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After a few minutes the female parrots cried out in unison: "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?" There was stunned silence. Shocked, One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and says, "Put the beads away, Frank, our prayers have been answered!"
Marie, Your jokes are cracking me up today. Laughed so hard at the parrots that I started to choke . -----oh my! Ginny
Mare
You are on a roll today. ROFLOL
Vinton, Virginia
Ginny: Marie, Your jokes are cracking me up today. Laughed so hard at the parrots that I started to choke . -----oh my! Ginny
Ginny, I love to make people laugh like that, laughter is good for the soul!
Good ones Marie
Griffin, GA
good ones marie
gini in north idaho
WE are now the old dogs.HOWEVER, OLD DOG IS BETTER THAN DOG-GONE.
Patti
Chiliwist Valley
YIKES!!
One Hungry Little Mouse
A little long and I'm only 60 but can absolutely relate.....
> Should I Really Join Facebook? (Priceless)> > Read it all the way through! It's a good> laugh! AND really quite true!!> > A good laugh for people in the over 70 group !!!> > When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about> the 30-year business I ran with 1800> employees, all without a cell phone that plays> music, takes videos, pictures and communicates> with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under> duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven> kids, their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2> great grand kids could communicate with me in> the modern way. I figured I could handle> something as simple as Twitter with only 140> characters of space.> > That was before one of my grandkids hooked me> up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon,> Tweetie and Twitterific, Tweetdeck, Twitpix> and something that sends every message to my> cell phone and every other program within the> texting World.> > My phone was beeping every three minutes with> the details of everything except the bowel> movements of the entire next generation. I am> not ready to live like this. I keep my cell> phone in the garage in my golf bag.> > The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday> because they say I get lost every now and then> going over to the grocery store or library. I> keep that in a box under my tool bench with> the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed> to use when I drive. I wore it once and was> standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking> to my wife and everyone within 50 yards was> glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid> out to use it, and I got a little loud.> > I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash> board, but the lady inside that gadget was the> most annoying and> rudest person I had run into in a long time.> Every 10 minutes she would sarcastically say,> "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she> could be nicer. It was like she could barely> tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh> and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next> light. Then if I made a right turn instead.> Well, it was not a good relationship...> When I get really lost now, I call my wife and> tell her the name of the cross streets and,> while she is starting to develop the same tone> as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.> > To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to> learn how to use the cordless phones in our> house. We have had them for 4 years, but I> still haven't figured out how I lose three> phones all at once and have to run around> digging under chair cushions, checking> bathrooms, and the dirty laundry baskets when> the phone rings.> > The world is just getting too complex for me.> They even mess me up every time I go to the> grocery store. You would think they could> settle on something themselves but this sudden> "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out> just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of> those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking> confused, but I never remember to take them> with me.> > Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me,> "Paper or plastic?" I just say, "It doesn't> matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's> their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I> was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No,> but I do fart a lot."> > P.S. I know some of you are not over 70. I> sent it to you to allow you to forward it to> those who are.> > > We senior citizens don't need anymore gadgets.> The TV remote and the garage door remote are> about all we can handle.
Well, after reading this, we can't leave out gadgets like sewing machines, embroidery machines and QUILTING MACHINES!!
Ramona
Too cute and I can relate....LOL
Ramona.....I have had to change clothes and do laundry thanks to you this morning. I have to say I have read it to others and even laughed harder the 2nd and 3rd time around.
I'm a material girl....Want to see my fabric collection?
Marie, I'm dying over here! Thanks for the laughs