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Joke/Inspiration of the Day #2

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Spudgrandma replied on Wed, Oct 24 2012 11:13 PM | Locked

Oh, that is bad Marge.

Life is like a quilt...bits & pieces, joy & sorrow, stitched with love

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Spudgrandma replied on Wed, Oct 24 2012 11:14 PM | Locked

Clare:

 

 

Clare:

 

They are both so cute Clare, thanks for sharing.

 

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Kris replied on Wed, Oct 24 2012 11:39 PM | Locked

Shadowland is cool. Thanks for the video Marie.

Good one Marge.

Thanks for posting Clare.

 

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Marie replied on Thu, Oct 25 2012 8:31 AM | Locked

Pics are missing but it's still funny.

 

 HAPPY  HALLOWEEN!
   
    
     
     

Two  brooms were hanging in the closet and  
  after  a while they got to know each other so  
  well,  they decided to get married. 

One broom  was, of course, the bride broom,  
  the  other the groom broom. 

The bride broom  looked very beautiful in her  
  white  dress. The groom broom was handsome  
  and  suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was  
  lovely.  

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the 
  bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, 
'I  think I am going to have a little whisk broom!' 

'IMPOSSIBLE !' said the groom broom. 


Now are you ready for this? 
Brace yourself; this is  going to hurt
!  !!  !!  !  






'WE  HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT  TOGETHER!'
  

............   ............   ..............
 
Oh  for goodness sake... Laugh, or at least  groan.
Life's  too short not to enjoy...
 Even these  silly
....little  cute.............
 And clean  jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Sounds to me like.........
she's been sweeping around!!!

 

Millbury, MA

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Marie replied on Thu, Oct 25 2012 8:35 AM | Locked

Good one Marge!

Millbury, MA

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Marie replied on Thu, Oct 25 2012 8:36 AM | Locked

Loved them Clare!

Millbury, MA

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Patti replied on Thu, Oct 25 2012 8:37 AM | Locked

Starting the day with smiles again.   Thanks Marge.

Patti

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Nana replied on Thu, Oct 25 2012 10:14 AM | Locked

Marge

Thanks for the chuckle.

Vinton, Virginia

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Nana replied on Thu, Oct 25 2012 10:15 AM | Locked

Clare

Cute ones.

Vinton, Virginia

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Spudgrandma replied on Thu, Oct 25 2012 10:41 AM | Locked

Oh Marie, that was a groaner...   

Life is like a quilt...bits & pieces, joy & sorrow, stitched with love

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gini replied on Thu, Oct 25 2012 9:37 PM | Locked

you guys are cracking me up,  mr soupuss even laughed at the brooms.

gini in north idaho

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Quiltlady66 replied on Thu, Oct 25 2012 9:43 PM | Locked

That is so funny, I just had to read it to my DH. We both got a good laugh .

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Clare replied on Thu, Oct 25 2012 10:58 PM | Locked

Marge that really cracked me up & it's already doing the rounds of my family & friends

Keep them coming....

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gini replied on Fri, Oct 26 2012 12:18 PM | Locked

 CUTE AND FUNNY FACTS
   If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
         (Hardly seems worth it..)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
   (O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
        (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)


A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)


Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Don't try this at home ; maybe at work.)


The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home .. What the...?)


The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)


The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)


Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity.)


Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)


The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
          (Hmmmmmm.......)


Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)


Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing..)

 


A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.  Why doesn't the government spend some $$ figuring out how to cross a pig and a lion??
Then in my next life, I could come back as a lion pig!!  Not a lying pig, we already have them, they are called politicians!!!!)


An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that, too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
        (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)


Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?)

!
        

gini in north idaho

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Spudgrandma replied on Fri, Oct 26 2012 1:35 PM | Locked

gini:
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

I should have marketed my hubby, we could be retired and living high on the hog now... :)

Life is like a quilt...bits & pieces, joy & sorrow, stitched with love

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