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Marie replied on Thu, Oct 4 2012 12:44 PM | Locked

The history of the middle finger

Well, now......here's something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified.  Isn't history more fun when you know something about it? 
Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers.  Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future.  This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew").
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew!  Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute!  It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."
IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY!
And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing.

Millbury, MA

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Marie replied on Thu, Oct 4 2012 12:46 PM | Locked

Sorry if I offended anyone, the devil made me send it. 

Never thought it'd make it through the powers that be.  : )

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Marie replied on Thu, Oct 4 2012 1:06 PM | Locked

Nancy, I told you I had friends with a warped sense of humor.

Medical examination..........

 

While examining his patient, the doctor tells her: "Your heart, lungs, pulse & BP are fine.

 

Now let me see that little thing which gets you women into all kinds of trouble."

 

The lady started taking off her panties.....

 

Doctor, stopping her: "No! No! Please put on your clothes.

 

Just show me your tongue."

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Marge (AKA Dimples) replied on Sun, Oct 7 2012 1:52 PM | Locked

Marie  - You are on a roll. :o)

Marge (AKA Dimples)

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Marge (AKA Dimples) replied on Sun, Oct 7 2012 1:53 PM | Locked

 
Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.’ The question was worth 70 points or none at all.

One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote:

1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.

And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:

7) It comes in two attractive containers, it's fresher and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.

He got an A.

 

Marge (AKA Dimples)

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Marge (AKA Dimples) replied on Sun, Oct 7 2012 1:56 PM | Locked

Some interesting history.,.....


Two Stories - BOTH are true and worth reading!!!!
STORY NUMBER ONE
Many years ago, Al Capone virtually owned Chicago . Capone wasn't famous for anything heroic. He was notorious for enmeshing the windy city in everything from bootlegged booze and prostitution to murder.
Capone had a lawyer nicknamed "Easy Eddie." He was Capone's lawyer for a good reason. Eddie was very good! In fact, Eddie's skill at legal maneuvering kept Big Al out of jail for a long time.
To show his appreciation, Capone paid him very well. Not only was the money big, but Eddie got special dividends, as well. For instance, he and his family occupied a fenced-in mansion with live-in help and all of the conveniences of the day. The estate was so large that it filled an entire Chicago City block.
Eddie lived the high life of the Chicago mob and gave little consideration to the atrocity that went on around him.
Eddie did have one soft spot, however. He had a son that he loved dearly. Eddie saw to it that his young son had clothes, cars, and a good education. Nothing was withheld. Price was no object.
And, despite his involvement with organized crime, Eddie even tried to teach him right from wrong. Eddie wanted his son to be a better man than he was.
Yet, with all his wealth and influence, there were two things he couldn't give his son; he couldn't pass on a good name or a good example.
One day, Easy Eddie reached a difficult decision. Easy Eddie wanted to rectify wrongs he had done.
He decided he would go to the authorities and tell the truth about Al "Scarface" Capone, clean up his tarnished name, and offer his son some semblance of integrity. To do this, he would have to testify against The Mob, and he knew that the cost would be great. So, he testified.Within the year, Easy Eddie's life ended in a blaze of gunfire on a lonely Chicago Street .. But in his eyes, he had given his son the greatest gift he had to offer, at the greatest price he could ever pay. Police removed from his pockets a rosary, a crucifix, a religious medallion, and a poem clipped from a magazine.
The poem read:
"The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop, at late or early hour. Now is the only time you own. Live, love, toil with a will. Place no faith in time. For the clock may soon be still."
STORY NUMBER TWO
World War II produced many heroes. One such man was Lieutenant Commander Butch O'Hare.
He was a fighter pilot assigned to the aircraft carrier Lexington in the South Pacific.
One day his entire squadron was sent on a mission. After he was airborne, he looked at his fuel gauge and realized that someone had forgotten to top off his fuel tank.
He would not have enough fuel to complete his mission and get back to his ship.
His flight leader told him to return to the carrier. Reluctantly, he dropped out of formation and headed back to the fleet.
As he was returning to the mother ship, he saw something that turned his blood cold; a squadron of Japanese aircraft was speeding its way toward the American fleet.
The American fighters were gone on a sortie, and the fleet was all but defenseless. He couldn't reach his squadron and bring them back in time to save the fleet. Nor could he warn the fleet of the approaching danger. There was only one thing to do. He must somehow divert them from the fleet.
Laying aside all thoughts of personal safety, he dove into the formation of Japanese planes. Wing-mounted 50 caliber's blazed as he charged in, attacking one surprised enemy plane and then another. Butch wove in and out of the now broken formation and fired at as many planes as possible until all his ammunition was finally spent.
Undaunted, he continued the assault. He dove at the planes, trying to clip a wing or tail in hopes of damaging as many enemy planes as possible, rendering them unfit to fly.
Finally, the exasperated Japanese squadron took off in another direction
Deeply relieved, Butch O'Hare and his tattered fighter limped back to the carrier.
Upon arrival, he reported in and related the event surrounding his return. The film from the gun-camera mounted on his plane told the tale. It showed the extent of Butch's daring attempt to protect his fleet. He had, in fact, destroyed five enemy aircraft
This took place on February 20, 1942 , and for that action Butch became the Navy's first Ace of W.W.II, and the first Naval Aviator to win the Medal of Honor.
A year later Butch was killed in aerial combat at the age of 29. His home town would not allow the memory of this WW II hero to fade, and today, O'Hare Airport in Chicago is named in tribute to the courage of this great man.
So, the next time you find yourself at O'Hare International, give some thought to visiting Butch's memorial displaying his statue and his Medal of Honor. It's located between Terminals 1 and 2.
SO WHAT DO THESE TWO STORIES HAVE TO DO WITH EACH OTHER?
Butch O'Hare was "Easy Eddie's" son.
(Pretty cool, eh)

 

Marge (AKA Dimples)

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Marge (AKA Dimples) replied on Sun, Oct 7 2012 3:26 PM | Locked

The Tiny Cabin


A social worker from a big city in    Massachusetts recently transferred to the mountains of Pennsylvania and was on    the first tour of her new territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin she    had ever seen in her life. Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the    door.


'Anybody home?' she asked.


'Yep,' came a kid's voice    through the door.


'Is your father there?' asked the social worker.


'Pa ? Nope, he left before Ma came in,' said the kid.


'Well,    is your mother there ?' persisted the social worker.


'Ma ? Nope, she    left just  before I got here,' said the kid.


'But,' protested the    social worker, 'are you never together as a family?'


'Sure, but not    here,' said the kid through the door.


'This is the Outhouse!'


(Government workers are so smart)

Marge (AKA Dimples)

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Ramona replied on Sun, Oct 7 2012 3:29 PM | Locked

Marge,

That is pretty cool!!

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Marge (AKA Dimples) replied on Sun, Oct 7 2012 3:31 PM | Locked

  A BOTTLE OF WINE - A STORY ALL WOMEN WILL ADORE!

>                             Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in
>                             Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo
>                             woman walking on the side of the road.
>
>                             As the trip was a  long and quiet one, she stopped the car and
>                             asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
>                             With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got
>                             into the car.
>
>                             Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with
>                             the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at
>                             everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown
                               bag on the seat next to Sally.
>
>                           'What in bag?' asked the old woman.
>
>                             Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle of wine.

                               I got it for my husband.'
>
>                            The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the
>                            quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:  'Good trade.....'
>
>

Marge (AKA Dimples)

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Ramona replied on Sun, Oct 7 2012 3:35 PM | Locked

Marge,

Tiny Cabin........another good one!

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Ramona replied on Sun, Oct 7 2012 4:22 PM | Locked

 

                       

 

My ex-wife, the Pilot.........................................

 

My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce started and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year.

Yesterday afternoon, she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting when she was forced to make an emergency landing in Southern Tennessee because of bad weather.

Thank God our kids were with me this weekend.

The NTSB issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error: Judy was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating) rating.

The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board.

No one on the ground was injured.

The photograph below was taken at the scene and shows the extent of damage to her aircraft.

She was very lucky. 

 







[]

I don't care who you are, this was funny!!! 

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

 

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Ramona replied on Sun, Oct 7 2012 4:23 PM | Locked

Silverfox,

There you have it....I've always wondered about that middle finger.

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Nana replied on Tue, Oct 9 2012 7:14 AM | Locked

Marie

Love it. 

Vinton, Virginia

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Nana replied on Tue, Oct 9 2012 7:23 AM | Locked

Wow Marge.  I love the OHare story.

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Marie replied on Tue, Oct 9 2012 10:21 AM | Locked

The Deaf Wife Problem

Bert feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. 

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. 


'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a 
response.' 


That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was In the den.
 He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.' Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?' 


No response. 


So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, 'Peg, what's for dinner?' 


Still no response. 


Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?' 

Again he gets no response. 


So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. 'Honey, what's for dinner?' 

Again there is no response. 

So he walks right up behind her. 'Peg, what's for dinner?' 


(I just love this)
 


'For goodness sake, Bert, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!'
 
 

Millbury, MA

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