Thanks Bonita and Barbara. I rarely visit this part of the site as I barely can keep up with the other parts, but I just couldn't resist sharing this one.
Angèle from NWO
Ramona, Marie, and Angele, thanks for the laughs! Marie, I sent the "math" joke on to the pastor. I'll let you know if he reads it in church. (he tells a lot of jokes during service, much to his wife's chagrine)
On the banks of the Mississippi River in north central Minnesota (Brainerd lakes area)
MNnancy:Ramona, I sent yours on to the pastor
Nancy, tell me you really didn't do that, please? LOL
Oh I love these. Thanks for a good laugh.
My husband went to Catholic school. The rumors that they celebrated so much they had to order more communion wine when he left school are no doubt highly exaggerated
There have been some REALLY good posts since I visited this thread last. :o)
Here is my contribution......
Two boys were walking home from
after hearing a strong preaching on
One said to the other, 'What do you
all this Satan
The other boy replied, 'Well, you
Santa Claus turned
It's probably just your
Dad.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Attending a wedding for the first
time, a little girl
whispered to her
'Why is the bride dressed in
The mother replied, 'Because white
is the color
and today is the happiest day of
The child thought about this for a
moment then said,
'So why is the groom wearing
black?' ~~~~~~~~~~~~ A little girl, dressed in her Sunday
best, was running
as fast as she
trying not to be late for Bible
As she ran she
'Dear Lord, please don't let me be
late! Dear Lord,
please don't let me be
While she was running and praying,
on a curb and fell,
getting her clothes dirty and
tearing her dress.
She got up, brushed herself off, and
As she ran she once again began to
'Dear Lord, please don't let me be
don't shove me
either!' ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Three boys are in the school yard
The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles
a few words
on a piece of paper, he calls it a
they give him $50.'
The second boy says, 'That's nothing.
scribbles a few words on piece of
he calls it a song, they give him
The third boy says, 'I got you both
beat. My Dad
scribbles a few words on a piece of
he calls it a sermon, and it takes
eight people to
collect all the
money!' ~~~~~~~~~~~~ An elderly woman died last
Having never married, she requested
In her handwritten instructions for
service, she wrote,
'They wouldn't take me out while I
I don't want them to take me out
when I'm dead.' ~~~~~~
~~~~~~A police recruit was asked during
'What would you do if you had to
arrest your own
He answered, 'Call for
backup.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~< I>A Sunday School teacher asked her
Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them
A small child replied, 'They couldn't
get a baby-sitter.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~A Sunday school teacher was
discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year
After explaining the commandment to
father and thy mother,' she
'Is there a commandment that
teaches us how to
treat our brothers and
Without missing a beat, one little
'Thou shall not
kill..' ~~~~~~~~~~~~< I>At Sunday School they were teaching
created everything, including human
Little Johnny seemed especially
intent when they
how Eve was created out of one of
Later in the week his mother noticed
down as though he were
and she said, 'Johnny, what is the
'I have pain in my side. I think I'm
going to have
a wife.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~
man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the
sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, "Because
you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one
wish."The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want." God
replied, "Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous
challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching
the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I
can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly
things. Take a little more time and think of something that could
possibly help mankind."The biker thought about it for a long
Finally, he said, "God, I wish that I, and all men, could understand
women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she
gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she
says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help,
and how I can make a woman truly happy."God replied: "You want two lanes or four on that bridge...?"
You are a treasure, thank you so much for the laugh.
lots of love
Marge, way too funny! roflol
Really cute jokes, Marge. Ginny
These are all great but I love the biker one. Gave me a good laugh for the day.
thank you marge, i can count on you for the laughs.
gini in north idaho
My g/f sent me this and I cracked up laughing and DH said it was funny - I don't know if it has already been posted but if so - enjoy again!
Don't wash your hair in the shower
It's so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!!
INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT
WARNING TO US ALL!!!
I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner!
I use shampoo in the shower!
When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and Printed very
clearly on the shampoo label is this warning,
"FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME."
No wonder I have been gaining weight!
Well! I have gotten rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering
with Dawn dish soap instead. Its label reads,
"DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."
If I don't answer the phone I'll be in the shower!
Oh Marge, you made me laugh! It felt good.
One of life lessons I just learnt, do not & I repeat do not read this thread only one week after abdominal surgery! I have been laughing so much that I was holding my stomach and thanks to everyone have had a great laugh but am now sore.