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What are you up to today? #4

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Kris replied on Thu, Oct 20 2011 1:24 AM | Locked

chocake2:
Now it fills a 10" pot... and i have babies from it everywhere.

Sounds like you have a way with plants. I can't get anything to grow not even ivy. My home is where plants come to die. 

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Kris replied on Thu, Oct 20 2011 1:30 AM | Locked

Patti:
I just had to share my day.

And I'm so glad you did. Thanks for sharing your memories with us. 

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Ms MoomMist replied on Thu, Oct 20 2011 4:49 AM | Locked

Patti:

Today has actually been a good day.  Tears and smiles, and good memories.  I didn't go back to work after lunch but went and bought 2 dozen roses.  I left 4 by the pear tree where my late DH died 20 years ago, and 20 at his grave side.  Then I turned up the CD in the car real loud, and played the song that always makes me think of him. With my arms stretched out and eyes closed we waltzed.  (good thing no one was around, I kept tripping over the tree roots, they would have thought I was crazy and drunk!)

Then I went to the other orchard and wandered though the trees we planted, gleaned a few tree ripened bosc pears.  It was sunny and warm and felt good to be in the orchard.  Today was also our anniversary and we would have been married 26 years, had he lived.

I have come a long way in 20 years, and although some were very difficult, I know I have truly been blessed in so many ways.  One of them was my "unexpected blessing" to whom I have now been married for 16 years, but that is another story. 

I just had to share my day.

Ah Patti this is so sweet and a very touching story, I, too, lost my first husband back in 1990 and our stories are so similar that I just had to say way to go. Today still is your anniversary one way or the other.

xoxoxo,

 

 

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Ms MoomMist replied on Thu, Oct 20 2011 4:55 AM | Locked

Barbara:

Oh Patti, what a wonderful story, I am not looking forward t o the first year.but since Don was cremated I do have his ashes with me at home, I talk to him all the time.. I miss him everyday. Barbara

Barbara, I'm so sorry! I didn't realize that you lost your Don and also know how you feel.

Next Saturday, my Kori's mom is having a Memorial Service for her. She has had a change of heart and decided that she and Kori needed a real resting place, so purchased a plot next to Kori's Grandma Jan with a stone with her name and Kori's. Things are always so very hard and I definitely know that "Time does heal ALL Wounds!" even in our darkest hours. Enough already Ms -

xoxoxo

 

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Sukochi replied on Thu, Oct 20 2011 6:28 AM | Locked

I want to thank all of you for making me feel like I am part of a big family with LOTS of sisters.  You share you inner most thoughts, dreams and prayers.  I am not telling something because I fear that you will all shun me. It hurts my heart not to share with my sisters. My blood sisters won't talk about this.  Could I jump in and share without everyone turning against me as many of my "friends" have done?

Sukochi

 

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Leslie replied on Thu, Oct 20 2011 6:41 AM | Locked

Sukochi, you need to talk we are good listeners,

[Ava, Missouri

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Sukochi replied on Thu, Oct 20 2011 7:17 AM | Locked

Ok, here I go.....

I am NOT ashamed of this, believe me. I just have had such bad experiences with this revlation, that  I have left it unsaid. 

My daughter, Sarah, was adopted by us when she was 14 mos. old. She was never a "girly" girl. I was so disappointed in that. As Mom's of daughter's we want "girly" girls, to shop with, buy pretty dresses for, etc.  We noticed very early on, that she was happiest in jeans and t-shirts, hated dresses with a passion, screamed bloody murder when I tried to fix her hair. She played with boys, trucks, left the dolls in the closet. As she grew, getting her into a dress for Church what like pulling teeth. So, skip to the high school years. I was cleaning out from under her bed, I know it's a sin : ], but I came across something that broke my heart at first. I found a wallet I had never seen. I opened it to find a photo of her kissing her best friend on the mouth. I took it to DH and he said we will always love her no matter what. I agreed. Then, years later, when she was 28, and I was in a Behavorial Health Center (BiPolar Disorder), she called and in a halting tone, got out  "mom, I am transgendered". At firs,t I had no idea what that was. Then she went on to tell me her story."I am not a girl inside, I am male. You tried so hard to raise me as a girl and I am so sorry I fought you every step of the way. I am so relieved that I can now live my life as who I really am." So, began her journey into the world of being a man. It was like losing our daughter. No, it was losing our daughter. He changed his name from Sarah Jean, to Bobby James. That sent us into mourning as our little girl WAS gone forever. At the same time, we rejoiced in our "new" one. He has been on testosterone shots for a year. Deep voice, looks male, built muscle mass, everything that is male. He has a "wife", Ami, who worships him. It was she who hlpled him come to terms with who he really is, and now he is the most happy person in the world.  He would love to have all the surgery but will never afford it. His grandmother (God rest her soul) would never refer to him as "him" or call him Bobby, or tell anyone she had a granddaughter (his cousin) and a grandson. When she died in March of this year, Bobby told me that in her heart he knew she would always love him for who he is now.  He is the best peson I kave ever known. Compassionate, happy, caring for others, We love him with all our souls.

I feel like I am denying him if I do not say, when we meet people, that we have a wonderful son that we adore. We have joined PFLAG (Parents, Friends of  Lesbiens and Gays). This group also supports Trans, Bi, and undecided. These people have taken us into their hearts, as well as Bobby.

So there it is. I don't care what your feeling are, I am proud of my son and that's that. But, as I have lost very dear friends over this and I am so happy in this group, I wanted to bite the bullet and let myself and my son be known.

Sukochi

 

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Sheila replied on Thu, Oct 20 2011 7:30 AM | Locked

LaJuan Sukochi Lee:

So there it is. I don't care what your feeling are, I am proud of my son and that's that. But, as I have lost very dear friends over this and I am so happy in this group, I wanted to bite the bullet and let myself and my son be known.

Oh, Sukochi - that's as it SHOULD be! You have no reason to be ashamed. My dad once said to me that I should have "disciplined" my DD more and my response was out of my mouth before I could even think about it - but - it was exactly what it should have been. I said, "Dad, she's not pregnant, doesn't do drugs, does not drink or smoke, and is respectful of others - I've done a damn fine job, if you ask me!" Well, 'nuf said - you've done a damn fine job, too! Don't ever doubt that. Blessings to you and yours.

 

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Sukochi replied on Thu, Oct 20 2011 7:37 AM | Locked

Shiela, don't get me wrong. i am NOT ashamed. I am over cautious.  It hurts to loss people you love, because of another person you love. We, as people, tend to judge without getting to know WHO is being judged.

Sukochi

 

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Sheila replied on Thu, Oct 20 2011 7:42 AM | Locked

LaJuan Sukochi Lee:

Shiela, don't get me wrong. i am NOT ashamed. I am over cautious.  It hurts to loss people you love, because of another person you love. We, as people, tend to judge without getting to know WHO is being judged.

 

~sigh~ there are far too many narrow minded people in the world, aren't there?

 

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Margaret Weber replied on Thu, Oct 20 2011 7:51 AM | Locked

Sheila:
sigh~ there are far too many narrow minded people in the world, aren't there?

Yes Sheila there are far too many narrow minded people out there.

Sukochi, I am sorry that you have been hurt by other family and friends for loving your child.  You are doing the right thing by loving your son unconditionally and supporting him.  I am sure that means so much to him to know that his parents not only are there for him but that accept him for who he is.  I think that you are doing a great job.

Margaret

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Susan replied on Thu, Oct 20 2011 8:04 AM | Locked
I hear you Marge,the stiff fingers and all the arthritis problems.I had a bunion on my foot that wouldn't quit...I wanted to cut a hole in my shoe to make room for it...LOL! But it all went away when I started on Alkaline water, I knew that it takes a Acidic body to have Arthritis,but I did not expect this to totally take it ALL away,sure made me happy!! All the quilters out there need to keep their fingers and wrists limber haha! Check it out!! Kangendemo.com www.suegingerich.yourbodyiswater.com/ get in touch if you need to the website has the email & ph# Pass the word to your loved ones!! Susan
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Ginny replied on Thu, Oct 20 2011 8:18 AM | Locked

Sukochi, 

 Bless you for just loving your child.  Many times our children don't follow the plan we have had in our head about them, but they are good people none the less.  You know this and can hope that other people will share the blessing of what a great person he is.

Some of my children have not followed the path I thought in my head they would take, but that is alright.  Though I don't share the same story as you, they have all become something other than what I pictured when they were children.  But they are all people that I am extremely proud of.  Hold your head high and just love your son for who he is......Ginny

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Patti replied on Thu, Oct 20 2011 8:23 AM | Locked

Sukochi,

I have a inspirational and beautiful piece of writing.  I have it at work, but I will bring it home so I can type it out for you.  It's about the excitement of finally going on a trip to wonderfully Italy, where your friends have gone, and then arriving in Holland instead.  You will really like this.

Sometimes our children just don't fit the molds we made for them.  As a Christian, my faith is very important to me.  And I so have wanted my daughter to share my faith.  But she has been rebellious on that issue since she was a teenager.  Now this is not nearly as dramatic, or difficult to experience as your situation, but I finally have stopped being embarrassed when my friends ask if my daughter has found a church.  I tell them she has found a synagog.  Generations ago, part of family was Jewish, but so long ago that no one knows what happened.  So Melissa, who has been curious about this, is taking classes and has taken this as her faith.

I have many opinions and thoughts about the way things, and people, "should be."  But thankfully we are not given the responsibility of judging others, but the responsibility to love others.  Consequently I have had many friends of different backgrounds, and persuasions.  And I am enjoying learning about the Jewish holidays and traditions.  So enjoy your son and celebrate his happiness.

Patti

Chiliwist Valley

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kim replied on Thu, Oct 20 2011 8:41 AM | Locked

Sukochi -  The only people we "should be" is who we really are inside. I am glad your son was able to find out who he is and that you and your husband are able to support him. It is a rough road for all involved but it sounds like you all have some great support. God bless you for for having the strength to accept him and his decisions.

 

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