Dave Anderson & Roger Walck Concert and Linda Koller Quilt Show
Tue, Sep 24 2013 4:25 AM

Sneak Peek at Remodeled Sewing Room
Sun, Mar 17 2013 2:37 PM

The moment is almost here when I can finally move back into my sewing room.  Right now I can move in the Elna, but I'm trying to figure out a way to bring in the Pfaff too. I have a friend who comes over and sews strips and/or squares for me. I.m trying to figure out if the small table will fit and still give me enough room to move around without being too constricted. . Let me explain some of the changes. I've had new windows put in. They've already been tested thanks to Mother Nature; and they passed the test...no leakage. I had 1 window removed on the east wall and the wall made into a solid wall so now I have a place to put my design wall. I also had heat installed. The people that service my furnace were able to run a couple ducts to  my sewing room. What a difference a little heat it makes!!

Welcome to the remodeled (I prefer to say new) my.sewing room...

I'm already making use of the cutting table. I have a drafting stool on order. It goes from 24" up to 40". I'll be able to use it at either table. The Elna machine will be coming out any day now...as soon as I can get someone over to help lift it.

The bins of fabric are stored behind the cutting table and each bin is label like you see here. Every piece of fabric in my stash was measured and labeled with it's size. Then it was placed in the apprpriate bin. I used the tallest bins for this storage. By the end of the week, over half of the bins were empty and are now in the basement. I'm wondering with so many empty bins, does this mean I need to go shopping to fill them up? I left all the denim and tapestry fabrics in the basement. I had no more room to put them in the sewing room, but my basement is nearly empty

.It's amazing how many UFOs I found!!!!!! I thought I was down to 1 or 2. Who was I kidding?!

Batting storage. You can also see the ironing board that I turned into a pegboard/magnet board. You may be wondering why the curtains are so short. They are old faded cafe curtains hanging on the south wall. As the sun is going down it's very difficult to work out there until the sun gets behind the hedge that is outside the window. So hanging the cafe curtains seems to be the perfect solution. And rather than having to go buy curtain rods, they are strung on cording hooked on nails or you could use cup hooks.

Laundry area....have to have it here because I cannot go up and down the stairs to the basement. I strung a clothesline across the window to  hang special cards, notes with addresses to where I am to send quilts, names of new quilt shops I want to visit. And yes clothespins are holding the notes, cards, etc. to the clothesline.

Cabinet that holds stabilizers, wonder under, interfacing, stencils, amoung other like items. On top are tapestry fabrics I've picked out for the pillows for my secret garden. Shhhh! It's a secret. A place I can go and hopefully, no one will find me. Isn't that what a secret garden is for???

Here is a very large basket that sits under the table where the sewing machine sits. It is full of pieces of fabric that most people would throw away. As you can se in my squares i throw next to nothing away. Eventually I sit down and sew these tiny pieces together until I have a 12" square. When I get 9 squares I make a quilt from them. I also keep a strip basket under the table, but it's upstairs being put to use for a quilt I've designed that will be going to a retreat center.

This fat quarter central. I also use one of them for batiks.When I was going thru all the bins I was surprise how many fat quarters I found that people had given me as gifts or I had received at retreats. I also found that I had pieces of fabrics that were the size of fat quarters so I folded them up and put them in here. Makes it easier to find if I'm looking for that color since they are sorted by color.

We've gone all the way around the room with the exception of the design wall and my supervisor. I'm having a hard time deciding which to show first. Here goes....

I have waited a long time for a design wall. Hey you Buggy Babes out there! You just might recognize the quilt squares in the quilt I just finished. Folks they are from the 1st Annual Amish Country Retreat of 2012. I have decided to donate my quilt to a retreat center called Standing Stones in Arizona that counsels ministers, their spouses and military chaplains. This is quilt #1 of 12. I have about 6-7 tops in the wings waiting to be quilted so I can't wait to get my Elna moved out here.Buggy Babes, it's not that I don't want something to remember you all by...I'm just very dedicated to the ministry of Standing Stones. I will always remember all of you in my heart. And Susie, we will be talking ironing board again this year!! Thanks for your help Sheila. Erin, do not worry about anything....you are coming!!!!!

OK I saved the best for last....my supervisor Indy.

Indy can almost always be found in that chair looking out the windows making sure there are no cats or squirrels in the garden. When he's sure he will pull one of my gel mats over (but still underfoot) and lay down for a nap. No one, but no one had better sit in that chair even if Indy is taking a nap. If they do, Indy's nap will be over very quickly and he will let them know that that is HIS chair. I think I might have to make something with Himself's name for that chair!!! Who's the service dog around here? Uhmmmmm.......c

Identity Theft - Don't be a Victim
Tue, Feb 12 2013 5:59 PM

I'm not a technical person. To prove it my computer was at the computer hospital for 5 days with the black plague...."oh no, not the black plague." But Dr. Chris, how could this have happened?? Did I download anything recently? Well, yes. Norton did their usual check and said there were 16 drivers that needed repair or replaced. They suggested  XYZ Company. So I bought XYZ software for $35 and downloaded it following the wizard instructions. After it was downloaded, it went to work and fixed all 16 drivers.

But my problems actually began when my hotmail email account disappeared for 2 full weeks.... Poof! Gone! All my contacts, bill paying information gone. Fortunately, I have another email account, but I had recently just started using it and not all my contacts were in it yet. I started notifying everyone that I pay bills on line with and changed my email address. I did pretty good...I only missed one. But to contact all my friends in both Ohio and Arizona, I had no idea how I was going to do that.

To make matters worse I got a call from one of the banks that I had a credit card at. They asked me if I was in possession of my credit card and if I was traveling. This was about 1/2 hour after placing a fabric order.  I asked very meekly why all the questions. Someone had just tried to make a large purchase in Europe using my account number. Gulp! I assured the lady that it wasn't me, that I had the credit card in hand, and had just made a purchase at an online fabric shop and that was all. She said sorry she would have to close my account immediately. She wasn't joking; while talking to her I got on line and couldn't access my own account. Great. Two days later I got a new card and statement showing my old balance. Darn and I thought maybe I wouldn't have to pay for that card! hahaha

Funny, but right after that my hotmail email showed up again. Hmmmm. There were 187 emails to go thru. Took 3 weeks to clean out that hotmail account. I just have family photos, then I'm done. Bye, bye hotmail!!!!

During this time I've had 2 notices from Facebook that someone hacked into my Facebook account, changed my password and settings. What is going on here?  Identity Theft!!! In the second letter Facebook advised me to call them. So I did and they walked me thru getting back into my account, reset the password, and other measures to safeguard my Facebook account. I feel better, but definately compromised.

Soon after that happened I received a call from another bank where I have a credit card. Yep the same story.

I'm a parish ministry assistant when I lived in Arizona. I had the assistant to the Treasurer of the state of Arizona come and talk to members of our congregation about identity theft. I also had an attorney who dealt with identity theft talk to our LWML (ladies mission league). I do all the things that they advised. I shred everything with my address on. I don't carry unnecessary credit cards with me. I'm careful about people standing too close to me when I'm handling a transaction.

So how did this all happen to me??? I don't know, but I feel it all started when my hotmail account suddenly disappeared in thin air. I believe hackers got it and all my information out of the hotmail account. My advise to you is DO NOT keep all your passwords, account numbers, personal information in your email account or on your computer as far as that goes. Hackers are smart and they can find anything on your computer. Don't be a victim of identity theft.

by Linda | with no comments
Indy and I sat on Santa's Lap!
Fri, Dec 28 2012 9:43 AM

Normally Christmas is a lonely day for me. Having sons they usually go to their spouse's parents for Christmas. They come to see me a week or two later. So Christmas I usually sew and watch Christmas movies all day. Twenty years ago when the boys first went out on their own, I would cry all day and feel left out. But now it's just another normal day only I have Indy. How can I possibly cry when I have Indy? He's funny and makes me laugh.

This year I received an invitation from my Cuz Deb to go to her house and then to Aunt Eleanor and Uncle Jim's. Deb's children were there with their children. Uncle Jim's brother's were there with their children and grandchildren. Aunt Eleanor and Uncle Jim have a log home in the middle of the woods...it makes you think of the the song "Over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house....." As soon as I took Indy's coat off, he was in seventh heaven having so many people he thought was going to feed him. I announced don't anyone feed that dog! But he got a lot of crumbs off the floor from the little kids.  All of a sudden we heard some weird sound and in came "Miss Spitunia" dressed in Christmas attire instead of her usual flowery garb. She had a large bag and a large book and called all the children around. Indy rushed over too and sat to watch the puppet show and listen to the story.  When the show was over they sang some Christmas songs.

Just as the singing was done, there was the sound of sleigh bells. Now just who do you think that could be? Indy wasn't too sure about the sound of sleigh bells and came running for my lap. And when that man in the red suit with the big white beard saying "HO HO HO' came in, all the children ran around him. Indy just looked at me in wonder. Santa came in and sat in his chair and all the kids gathered around. Indy thought there might be something to this. So he got on the floor but stayed close to me just in case.

 There were just too much confusion for him....all those kids, paper flying, parents looking to see what their kids got from Santa, Cuz Deb trying to pick up paper. When things quieted down, to my surprise everyone started getting their pictures taken with Santa including Indy and me!!!!   I can't wait till I get that photo. I haven't had my picture taken with Santa since I was about 4 years old. It was at Leonard's Department Store in Ft. Worth, TX. Daddy was stationed in the Air Force there. Mom worked at the store. But it was Daddy who took me to see Santa. Funny I can still remember that like it was yesterday.

After having our photo taken with Santa, Indy decided he wasn't such a bad guy afterall. So he hung around Santa for a while, but since he couldn't find any crumbs he moved on to the kitchen. Everyone just adored my Indy and Indy just adored all the attention. He loved playing with the kids.

As for me, it's the best Christmas I've had in a very long time. Thank you Cuz Deb for inviting me.  Happy Birthday, Jesus.

by Linda | with no comments
My Christmas Tree, Santas & Snowmen
Tue, Dec 18 2012 11:50 AM

There is a thread going around where everyone is showing off their beautiful Christmas trees. They are really, really beautiful. I haven't had a large tree since 2000 and do I ever miss it! I also miss having a live pine tree, but allergies ruined that one. So now I have my little 4-1/2 foot tree with ornaments that are almost as big as the tree. It is pretty tho. My favorite is the crocheted angel at the top that I found at a craft show. She is so beautiful. The pictures don't show her well. So here are pictures of the tree.

Notice how large most of the ornaments are on the tree?

Next come the Santas....#1 is sitting by the tree. It is made from a real log. I only unpacked the small Santas this year. The big ones are old and in need of some repair. Here are the small Santas.

Don't you just love Mr & Mrs Santa on the Harley? A couple friends who are bikers gave that to me when I was in rehab. I have other biker friends who would like one like it. I have searched the web and cannot find one even close to it.

OK onto my favorites...Luv Snowmen!!! I'm so proud of myself. I haven't bought a new one this year, but winter isn't over yet. So on with the show!!!

I really love my snowmen because I mostly bought them myself that way I got the ones I wanted. But don't be surprised if I don't buy one or two or sneak the one out of my doctor's office when she isn't looking. I haven't even included the snowmen on kitchen linens.

So until next Christmas when I've added to the collection, you all have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

by Linda | with no comments
Things I'm Thankful For
Mon, Nov 19 2012 6:18 PM

Here we are almost Thanksgiving again. Another year almost gone. I should be making plans to leave for Arizona; but no plans this year. I'm going to see my first winter in 12 years. The doctor says no traveling alone especially going thru Chicago Union Station. Well, that has been a nightmare every year coming and going. The service gets worse each year and I file a complaint each year and nothing happens. I told the doctor I wouldn't be traveling alone anymore, Indy is now a service dog and can travel with me. For some reason the doctor did not see that as a solution, but compounding the problem.

Instead of my problems, let me think of the things I'm thankful for this past year....

1. Indy got his therapy/service badge. woohoo! He loves when his backpack comes out because he knows he's got a job to do. He needs more experience but he a quick learner. Indy has only been with me since March.

2. I'm still on this side of the grass in spite of the 6 falls, hemorraged vocal chords, 2 clogged arteries (cannot operate because I'm a surgical risk)

3. Found my 3 brothers of Daddy's second marriage and met 2 of them. One lives in CA and  turns out one of them lives about one hour from me. I've seen him several times. The third brother lives in the Ozarks but have not met him yet.

4. I love my home with my raised veggie garden area and flower beds.

5. Brother Rick and wife Susan came down for a week in July.  And I'm almost done sewing the binding on the round robin quilt I made for them. They saw the center square when they were here and loved it. The girls did a great job finishing the borders.

6. I love the Lord, Jesus my Savior. If it weren't for my faith, I would not be here today. So I pray today for all who are lost and not found, for those who have problems due to the economy or recent disasters, and for those with chronic health problems, with cancer, and other such diseases. Dear Lord, hold them in your comforting arms today and everyday and give them peace and may your will be done. Amen,

I'm thankful for my QCA friends too. Thank you for being there for me. Love you quilty friends. Hugs. Linda

by Linda | with no comments
Elaine's Poem
Tue, Oct 30 2012 12:52 PM

I've been sorting and sorting. Last evening I found this poem that my dear friend Elaine Waite wrote for me in March 2008. I would like to share with you. She did not title the poem.

 

Mourning tears called on the Lord.

Save her! Restore!

Let her live, she loves you!

She has many quilts to do!

Bless her days, comfort the nights

Bring her back from death's sight.

 

You, oh Lord, are the One

Who gives life and the fun!

You gave to her a ready smile,

Red hair, and the strengh to walk that extra mile.

You gave her friends that encouraged, cooked, dressed, bathed, & shopped

And picked up things that she had dropped.

 

The fractures now slowly mend.

She endured the walker, now the cane.

Once in a while she forgets

she is lame!

 

Her residence, now in forclosure

a horrifying emotional stir;

You, Lord, not skipping a beat

Brought a realator with food feat!

He shopped around

Till he found

The perfect place

Not far away>>>

Thank you Lord for George, the realator,

and Barb,the nurse!

Our Linda is joyfully singing the verse

"Be glad in the Lord and rejoice!

Holy is your name.

And joyous are your servants.

Health, happiness is regained."

 

I haven't see my friend Elaine in a long time. But I would like to thank her for her beautiful words.  Elaine, I miss you where ever you are.

by Linda | with no comments
Happy Memories
Fri, Oct 26 2012 7:47 AM

The other day I finally got my china cabinet fixed. I've been waiting since May when I got the new piece of glass in. I held my breath and prayed that I had measured properly. What a big sigh of relief as the glass slid right into place!! I quickly called my neighbor Jim and asked if he could go to my basement and bring up the boxes with my teapots and Grandma's dishes.I spent the rest of the day unpacking boxes and unpacking boxes. Gosh I didn't remember having this much, but then it's been ten long years since I've seen any of this. When I lived in Arizona I had no place to put any of it, so it stayed in storage for 10 long years.

After getting everything unpacked and not having any kitchen counterspace left, I realized that I did not have enough room for all of it. So I decided to keep the pieces that had special meaning to me and send the rest to my neice Shelby in Wisconsin. She has a Victorian home and loves all types of china. When I was up there last summer we had specifically talked about Grandma's dishes. Shelby said she would love to have some of it if I didn't want to keep it all. Well there are 3 large boxes on the way to her house as we speak. Won't she be surprised???  Turns out I only kept the teapots, the demitasse set, and glass basket and a few other things.... the things I remembered as a little girl when I would look into Grandma's china cabinet in wonder and awe. And now I'm looking into my own china cabinet in wonder and awe and memories of Grandma like it was yesterday. I can remember Grandma telling me on Sunday that I could get my teaset out. Oh how exciting, I could use my teaset!!! I felt so special and Grandma would always tell me when I grew up that teaset would be mine.  I've made a collage of some of my life's blessings for time's when I'm feeling down. It's now 2 pages long. I think I need to add my china cabinet. I've always had the wonderful memories with Grandma and Grandpa. It's good after our mourning, that we can remember all the good times.

After the disciples mourned the sacrifice of Christ on the cross, upon His resurrection they were able to stop mourning and remember His teachings. Then they could go on and spread the Gospel.  Amen.

 

by Linda | with no comments
Life Goes On
Tue, Oct 16 2012 8:52 PM

I haven't written in such a long time. Words just quit coming. They still aren't really coming. I finally accepted what happened to me 5 years ago and all the pain and misery that has come with it. So now the words aren't coming and I'm just learning to deal with all the health issues the accident has created. The Lord God is here helping so I have nothing to fear.

Meanwhile life goes on. As some of you know in August, I hosted an Amish Country Retreat at the Berlin Grande Hotel. The hotel did a marveleous job providing everything we needed. The 9 of us had a wonderful time. Our 10th person couldn't come at the last minute because she took a nose dive down a flight of stairs. Happy to report she is fine except for some shoulder repair.

I am again hosting another Amish Country Retreat. Only this time we are using the Rural Thimble that is located behind Miller Dry Goods in Charm, Ohio. Without advertising, there are already 6 ladies signed up, which means we have room for 4 more, possibly 6. (The sofa opens up into a queen size bed.) And the retreat isn't until June 19-22, 2013! If you get a chance check it out at www.theruralthimble.com. It is a beautiful facility. We "Buggy Babes" are very eager for June to arrive. Earlier today I've heard of a couple more possible attendees. This facility only holds 10, but if I check with the owners we might get in 12. I'm  amazed because I haven't promoted or advertised this retreat yet and we're are almost full! God is looking down on us. I'm already making plans.

This summer Indy and I worked very hard and he finally passed and got his therapy dog badge. His vest and badge are on order. The weekend of the retreat he went to boot camp and came home very tired!  He is so funny when I get his backpack or one of his new coats out. Indy shakes with excitement. He does so well when out on the "job". Most times I don't even have to give him a command. He knows exactly what to do. I am so very proud of him because he's come so far since March. The other evening I put on some chicken tenders to cook and forgot all about them. Indy came in and got my immediate attention and I followed him and discovered a smoky kitchen. Fortunately, the smoke alarms hadn't gone off and the food was still edible.

A new day is starting and I'm working on about 3 quilts at one time and personalizing bath towels for 5 of the 7 grandkids. Of course, Indy is right there in my chair supervising...so he thinks!

Everyone have a happy quilty week. Hugs.

Linda.         PS. Check out my gallery to see Indy modeling his new coats.

by Linda | with no comments
Filed under:
Changes Old and New
Wed, Sep 5 2012 5:49 PM

I haven't written a blog in several months. The words quit coming once I realized and accepted that the car accident did happen and I really am living a different life. I have now accepted that my life will never be like it was before. And the biggest thing I've had to accept is that most of my friends and family have not accepted the new me. Yes, the new me. I've had brain trauma and with that comes changes....changes I don't always like either, but I've had to learn to live with them. Memory loss has been a big problem like trying to remember a word during conversation and I come up blank. I was at a function with my friend Jan and someone came up and said "hi haven't seen you for so long. Where have you been?"  I turned to Jan and asked "Do I know this person?" A fellow from school days contacted me and I had to ask him if I knew him. He said  he used to walk me home from school and we'd sit out on the porch and talk. For the life of me I could not remember him. I was talking to my brother one evening and mentioned it and he remembered immediately. To this day I don't remember the guy altho we have talked a few times.

Lately I've been falling down quite a bit. Hey, some of those EMT's are pretty good lookers!  Marie are you reading? Poor Indy is bound and determined not to let those guys get his mommy! When they get me on the gurney, he's even tried jumping on too! I have a wonderful neighbor Audrey who comes over and attempts to calm Indy down. Today I had an appointment with my primary doctor  and they can find no reason for the falls. My opinion is all the meds....hello!!!!! They all cause drowsiness and/or dizziness. I've been on these meds for almost 5 years now, what the heck do they expect? Once I told one of my doctors that I was going to quit taking all my meds so I could have a clear head to think clearly again. And I asked what would happen if I did that? His answer was how long do you want to live? Every med I'm on is live sustaining. That caught my attention! None of it stops the pain but it keeps my body functioning. Without the meds my body could not function. We grew up learning that the central nervous system controled the body. Well I'm finding out what happens when it has been damaged. It is not fun (or pretty).

So today my doctor tells me I  need to find some happiness in the rest of my life. Easier said than done. I love my home here...born a Buckeye always a Buckeye. Here I can garden and what a garden I've had this year. I have my Indy who I love to pieces. (But I wish he would learn what house breaking meant. He's got a handle on  it except inopertune times.)  To stay in my house I must have a companion. Oh boy---I feel for that person. I've lived alone for a lot of years and I'm not easy to live with. But I guess I have to learn to adapt or loose it all. It's been difficult making new friends since I'm pretty much house bound.

I best get sewing. I have a lot of quilts in me yet. Can't do that in a nursing home. And I'm not ready for that  believe me. God has a plan and I plan to carry out that plan He has for me. I'm here to serve God regardless of my weakness. For when I am weak, then I am strong. As long as the Lord lets me quilt, I'm happy.  Amen.

I've made some great friends here at QCA and have even been able to meet a few. HUGS to you. Friendship is one of the greatest treasures from God.

by Linda | with no comments
Happy Mother's Day, Grandma!
Sun, May 13 2012 4:07 PM

Paul wrote, "I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also."  (2 Timothy 1:5) NIV

The above verse was in one of the 3 devotions I receive in my email each morning. My Grandma Koller definately nurtured the beginnings of my faith journey. She was also my Sunday School teacher. Almost every Sunday after church I went home with Grandma and Grandpa or Uncle Skip would pick me up and take me out to the farm. After we had dinner, I would help Grandma prepare next Sunday's lesson. She would let me cut out the figures that went on the flannel board while she told me the story. She would explain why she couldn't call on me when she asked questions. She said it wasn't fair to the other children because I've already heard the story and knew the answers. They had to be allowed to have a chance to answer the questions. Reasoning usually worked with me.

During the week I would accidentally (on purpose) get on the wrong school bus and go to my grandparents' house. In those days you could do that. The bus drive would remind me that I would be grounded again. I knew that and when my punishment was over, I'd do it all over again! When I went in the house, I'd usually find Grandma at her desk writing out cards. She had a card ministry. (Gee, I wonder if that's where I get it from?) Cards went out for birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, graduations, get well, or haven't heard from you in a while to church members as well as family members. She also had pen pals with missionaries.

My grandparents supplied the local supermarkets with produce and eggs...that was a lot of years ago. I spent most of my summer vacations at the farm  helping to pick produce. Depending what was in season,  more could go in my mouth than in my basket! There were plenty times I'd sneak off when the plums or granny smith apples were ripe and climb the trees and have a feast. I'd also go to bed that night with an upset stomach or be hugging the porcelin bowl.  But it wasn't all about food. The day started off with a short Bible reading and prayer. All meals including tea time started with prayer. Before bedtime, there was a longer Bible reading time. I was so excited the first time I was allowed to read. There were a few tricky words! After the Bible reading, there was prayer time where we knelt on the floor just like at church...well, at church we had kneelers. When I went home I'd tell Mom and Daddy we had to have Bible reading and prayer time. I didn't know at the time that my parents had rebeled against their parents.

Grandma also gave me my confirmation verse (about a year before she passed). John 3:16...For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

When Grandma sang, she sang loud, and she like me couldn't carry a tune. But she said in God's ear it was always a joyful noise. So Grandma sang loud, raised her hands in praise, and had a smile for God. I've tried to remember that. My grandchildren tell me, "Grandma don't sing!" But I remember what Grandma Koller told me and I sing loud, only now I loose my voice when I sing loud, but my hands are raised in praise, and I have a smile for God. Just like my beloved Grandma. I miss you.

Happy Mother's Day!

Welcome to my new look - Changes
Tue, Apr 3 2012 5:45 AM

As much as I loved the old theme of my blog, it was just too difficult to read. Unfortunately, I was unable to change the font color.  And I didn't find it so difficult to change the theme as I thought it would be. Hopefully, you will find this easier on the eyes.

Changes. I'm Lutheran...we don't like changes. Just ask Garrison Keillor! I love that man's humor!! OK I'm getting off the subject here. That's because I don't like change and there certainly has been a lot of change in my life in recent years!! I've uprooted myself and moved across country once again. Only this time I know people...or do I?? They say you never can go back...take my word for it, it's true! It's definately not the same. It has definately changed...maybe it's me. What? I've changed? How can that be? I'm still me, aren't I???

Recently, one of my best friends told me that she doesn't like the new me. Huh? The new me? What is she talking about? My caregiver talks about my "new normal".  My new what? Have people lost their minds?? Have I really changed?

OK, I do understand my new normal. It's my physical self...I have no strength, no immune system, my system has a very fine balance. But when talking about my personality, I didn't realize that had changed too. I guess brain trauma and post traumatic stress does affect one's personality. Gosh, if I've offended anyone, I'm truly very sorry.

Blogging is a way of getting my feelings out and also a way of sharing my faith.  If it weren't for my faith in God, I would not have survived the past 4 years. It's only been very recent, that I've actually accepted what has happened to me and now I have to figure out how to live with it without being bitter. You see I have no memory of t he accident itself. I have spent the past 4  years just trying to get from 1 day to the next. I don't want pity from anyone...that is the very last thing I'd ever want. I don't want criticizm either...that's negative and I can't deal with negativity.  I need positive friends who can encourage me in my faith and activities.

Change...I don't like it, but life happens and with it comes change.

God's blessings to you.

Linda                                                    

 PS. Indy had a tummy ache yesterday. I thought he was eating grass...turned out he was eating peanuts and peanut shells that the squirrels were leaving in the yard!!!! They left their peanuts in place of taking the bird food. At the moment Indy is sleeping at my feet and must be dreaming...he's growling at something!! Indy has made me laugh so much since he's been with me! Now if we can do something about housebreaking! Talk about change!!!!!!!!

Here's Indy sleeping this morning just before he woke up.

 

JOY!!
Sat, Mar 31 2012 7:03 AM

I was talking to Barb, my caregiver, the other evening, and out of the blue she says she hears joy in my voice. Joy? Now that's something I haven't heard in a long time! Do I really have joy in my voice again? Could that little 4 legged ball of fur have anything to do with it? Indy sure has made me laugh these past few weeks. As he is settling in and beginning to explore his new home, he no longer wants me to  hold him all the time. He now likes playtime and is hilarious the way he finds his toys and tosses them about. If I get them away from him and throw them, he runs after them, grabs them, and then runs thru the house with them. It is so funny, because he looks to see if I'm chasing him.

He's gotten better when I leave the house too. One day while channel surfing, discovered he liked Mickey Mouse! He stopped in his tracks when he heard Mickey and just sat there and started watching.  So now I put Disney channel on when I'm leaving and he doesn't carry on as I'm walking out the door anymore. But he's always at the door when I get home and showering me with kisses and more than ready to go outside. Speaking of going outside...

Indy comes and paws at my arm when he needs to go out. When he is adamant about going out, he can paw quite insistently. I have abrasions on my arm to prove it!! The problem is when he gets outside, Indy looses focus and forgets why he wanted to go outside in the first place!!!! Yes, folks my puppy is a little busy body. Every little noise or movement he must investigate.  Next thing I find myself at the back door because he wants to go back in the house. Yet he still hasn't done his business!! Lately when we go back in, he has not gotten his treat and has found himself attached to the doorknob with a couple pee pee pads close at hand. At the moment, this morning he is not a happy camper!!!

We also have playtime first thing in the morning just before getting out of bed. He sleeps on his own pillow...remember the pillowcases in my gallery? The night before he likes to unmake my bed for me. While I'm straightening one side, he will unmake the other side! I just have to laugh at him! Last night he actually crawled under all the blankets and got himself caught. It was so funny watching him try to get out from under!! By this time tears are rolling down my face from laughing so hard! This morning he comes over and jumps on me for his belly rubs. Then he grabs one of his toys and is ready for a game of fetch. Oh, forgot to tell you, he sleeps with his toys. Indy doesn't settle down until he goes thru the house looking for all his toys and has them at the foot of the bed.

He's taking a morning nap and I see he brought in his lamb to nap with. Awwww! Guess I better get my breakfast so I have energy to play fetch when  he wakes up!! Yes, that little 4 legged ball of fur had brought joy back into my life. Think I'll keep him around a while.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."       Psalm 16:11

A Few Blogs Back...
Sun, Mar 18 2012 3:16 PM

A few blogs back was one titled "We make plans, God laughs". No truer words when you have an 18 month old rescue puppy who has had no training!! Indy has been with me 2 weeks and he has come a long way in those 2 weeks. However......God is rolling on the floor of heaven laughing out loud!! Any plans I've had to get projects done have totally gone down the tubes with my Indy around!!!

Everytime I think I'm going to sit down and sew the binding to my granddaughter's quilt and watch a movie in the process, a ball of fur lands in my lap! Next my face is showered with a little wet tongue...so are my glasses. Playtime...again! Throw toys and Indy runs and runs and runs. Maybe he will loose a couple pounds since he arrived a little chunky. Next he has found his tail in the past 2 days. It is hilarious watching him chase his tail. I'm laughing so hard that I can't take a photo of the action. It's even funnier when he stands still...or tries to!!

After 1 week, a light bulb went off and Indy figured out that he should do his business outside and not on mom's carpeting. He also realized if he went outside, he got a treat when he came inside. The little stinker also figured out he could go outside and fake it and he could get a treat. Ha! Ha! I caught onto that trick rather quickly. I know some other furry friends who tried that one!!!

Well, the joke is on Indy. Tomorrow he goes to obedience school for 3 days a week...that is 3 days and nights. Then he comes home for a week for me to work with him. The cycle continues until he graduates from obedience school. Indy will continue onto service dog training. Guess when I'm going to get my granddaughter's quilt done and watch a movie or two?? Of course, God may still be laughing at me. He may still have other plans for me. Hanna's birthday is Saturday, God.

This was the year that I was going to get a lot of UFOs done. So much for my plans. I came home from AZ with a bunch of other projects for church and friends. I also promised I would do more charity quilts this year. OK, I get the message. One of those projects (an embellished vest) is done and shipped. I heard she wore it to church last week. Today I finished my first Round Robin and I'm ready to mail to the next person on the list. The lesson here is I get things done for others, but not myself. I think it wise I follow God's plan for me.

Thank you Lord God for Your plan is better than mine.  Amen.

Had a revelation the other day...
Thu, Mar 8 2012 8:50 PM

Had a revelation the other day...

When I was in Arizona, Jim and I were at the shopping center where my accident occurred. I had a post traumatic stress episode and just started sobbing and then got angry. I've been to the area several times since my accident and felt nervousness, but have never reacted like this before. Poor Jim had no clue as to what is going on, why is Linda sobbing like that, and then why is she yelling? Meanwhile, he's trying to get us out of there as quickly as possible. Did I mention that there was a Barrett Jackson event going on? Traffic was far heavier than normal and you didn't get anywhere quickly. By the time we got home, I had managed to calm down a bit, but I became extremely depressed...for 5 weeks...and terribly homesick.

At the same time, the adoption went thru for my rescue puppy, Indy. I emailed my doctor explaining what happened and telling him that I didn't understand my reaction. I also told him about Indy, because he had told me I should get a therapy dog about 2 years previously. His answer....about time, cute dog. What?? What kind of answer was that?

With other health issues cropping up and now a puppy to look forward to, I started talking myself out of the depression. Afterall, I had come this far in 4 years and I'm still on this side of the grass. So why quit now, right? Besides being depressed, was no way to live. I have grandchildren and a puppy to live for and 2 sons to aggrevate if I haven't done so enough already.

The other day I was in with my doctor and he asked me what am I angry at? My answer was the guy who hit me and the resulting injuries that are affecting my entire lifestyle and are creating ongoing problems. Then yesterday Pastor was visiting and he asked the same question...What or who am I angry at? I gave him the same answer. Then he asked but who am I really mad at? I told him I am not mad at God for letting this happen to me. Of course, Pastor  said that was a good Christian answer.

Here's the revelation...I'm angry at myself. Before I went into that shopping center, either God or his messenger angel was telling me to go straight home. Do not go into the shopping center. I heard it loud and clear and I ignored it! I ignored a message of God! Because I ignored that message I am now paying the consequences. However, in spite of ignoring His message, He still loved me and had a host of angels around me to protect me from death. I lived because of God's amazing grace and forgiveness. The question now is...Can I forgive myself?

Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions" to the Lord -- and you forgave the guilt of my sin."                    Psalm 32:5

Indy has been with me for almost a week now. He is such a sweetie, except he is not housebroken. He is a rescue puppy from a puppy mill, so it will take time to train him since he is 18 months old already. He also is not use to being around people and my house has been grand central station. But he is adjusting pretty good as long as every one just leaves him alone and lets him take his time getting acclimated.

I've managed to get Hanna's quilt pressed and sandwiched together. I started quilting late this afternoon. I got about 1/3 done before my eyes started getting tired. Last night I made my 2 March Craftsy BOM and even got them posted today. Tuesday I put together a vest that was already cut out by one of the members of my church back in AZ. It was one of those preprinted panels. It was fun doing all the embellishments. Now in the line up is...finish Hanna's quilt, 2 Round Robin blocks, Jan-Mar Country Junktion Block of the month,  2 quilts for RWYS, 1 valor quilt & 1 comfort quilt for one of the ladies at my church in AZ.  Oh, and 2 quilts for myself! And that's not even touching the UFO pile!

It's getting late and Indy is pawing at me which an indication in her dog language to get to bed!! Good night!

More Posts Next page »